Need to vent about my difficult child-mother in law

[Mom2oddson]

If you've followed my story, you know that mother in law got custody in 95 when husband had a drug problem (before I met him). mother in law let us have the kids in Nov 96, but she kept custody. The only way we would ever get it from her was to sue and husband doesn't believe in sueing mommy.

So, in september 09, difficult child-S moved in with mother in law cuz we insisted on a drug-rehab program and continuing with her Bi-Polar treatment/counseling. Well, before mother in law even took difficult child-S, she contacted the state to reinstate the original child suppor ($25) and started modification.

Just got the paperwork. We are to pay HUGE amount. Enough that we will not be able to pay all our bills. And husband and I have govt jobs which means as soon as we start getting behind on payments, we will lose our jobs. And mother in law doesn't give a you-know-what about anything but money in her pocket.

Of course, I probably won't lose anything because my Dad (a REAL parent) won't let that happen. He's already said if he has to completely drain his retirement accounts, he will see that we don't lose anything. He's a great Dad.

But, I don't want him to do that. It's not right for him to lose everything to protect me from mother in law. I can't sell my house because I owe double what it's worth thanks to the wonder housing bubble bursting.

And the worst part for me, is that I know when husband gets over his anger, he'll forgive his mom, even if we've lost everything, because he is that kind of guy. And I don't know if I'll be able to forgive him for forgiving her.

Sure does make the issues of what difficult child-A is up to seem like small potatoes.

 

[DammitJanet]

Cant he go back to court and ask to amend that order? Your income shouldnt be counted, only his. You could also go back and prove that you had the kids from 96 onward and ask for child support from her till they went back to her! Well...just an idea on that one. Wouldnt get far on that but it would be interesting. Really...the support order should be based on husband's income alone and he should ask for it to be modified to that and the arrears will be tacked on as whatever he can afford even if its only 25 or 50 bucks a month. It isnt the whole thing at once.

 

[Hound dog]

Janet is right. They aren't allowed to count your income, period. I would at least do that. It ought to help some anyway.

Also because this is a step child, not paying should affect your job either, or your tax refund. (something that used to stick in husband's ex's craw from time to time lol)

 

[AnnieO]

Grrrrr. HITH did she get your income included? That's not right. In fact it is against the law. BM tried to get my income counted and got shot down.

Also - husband had a government job. You won't lose your job immediately when you get behind. You have to get REALLY behind. And YOU won't be the one behind.

If she had custody, you won't be able to DEMAND child support from her... She's not the parent.

Check your laws - for instance support is not to exceed 60% of income here. It routinely does, but that's due to arrears...