pasajes4
Well-Known Member
My son is due home from his juvenile placement on August 23. We have bi-weekly family counceling sessions at the facility. We had one at 9 a.m. this morning and I am still reeling and seething and just about foaming at the mouth.
We were having a discussion about his home pass weekend and how it went. We had an incident where he took off by himself after being told he could not (rules of home pass forbid it). He came back after I went after him. I explained the rules again and he said he understood. well, not really. He told the counselor that the rule was stupid and that he did not agree with the rule and he does not agree with the rules of probation once he gets out and that he will try to foloow trhem but he might not be able to cause they are so unfair. The counselor asked if his friends come to our house. My son told him that his friends don't like coming to my house because I won't let them smoke weed and that I should let them because then they would not have to do it in public and get arrested. The other reason is because I am so nosey and ask to many questions. Why do I need to know who they are and what they are doing? My friends don't always like to hang out with me because my mom makes me come home so I can't smoke weed with them and whhen they want to rob a house I don't want to go......good for him..fyi he's locked up because he robbed the neighbors house. I am of course thrilled to hear all of this and pretty much realize that he has the same mind set that he went in with and that all of the positive changes that I have seen are to a large extent playing the role he needs to play in order to get out of there.
Here's the part that ticked me off. The therapist took issue with the fact that I seem to not see that it is my son's house too and that he has a RIGHT to have his friends over and that I do not have a right to in his words give his friends the third degree about what their names are or that gee I don't want people in my house that feel they can curse me out, leave messes, do drugs, plot crimes and use my house as a place to come when they get kicked out of their houses for doing the same thing.
I don't know maybe I am unreasonable. I just don't think I should have to sit in my room like I am a prisoner in order for my son to feel welcome in his own home.
I was just starting to feel hopeful about his future and our relationship but after today. I just ain't feeling it.
Sorry about the rant but I need to disgorge before I blew sky high. Thank God I have therapy tomorrow.
We were having a discussion about his home pass weekend and how it went. We had an incident where he took off by himself after being told he could not (rules of home pass forbid it). He came back after I went after him. I explained the rules again and he said he understood. well, not really. He told the counselor that the rule was stupid and that he did not agree with the rule and he does not agree with the rules of probation once he gets out and that he will try to foloow trhem but he might not be able to cause they are so unfair. The counselor asked if his friends come to our house. My son told him that his friends don't like coming to my house because I won't let them smoke weed and that I should let them because then they would not have to do it in public and get arrested. The other reason is because I am so nosey and ask to many questions. Why do I need to know who they are and what they are doing? My friends don't always like to hang out with me because my mom makes me come home so I can't smoke weed with them and whhen they want to rob a house I don't want to go......good for him..fyi he's locked up because he robbed the neighbors house. I am of course thrilled to hear all of this and pretty much realize that he has the same mind set that he went in with and that all of the positive changes that I have seen are to a large extent playing the role he needs to play in order to get out of there.
Here's the part that ticked me off. The therapist took issue with the fact that I seem to not see that it is my son's house too and that he has a RIGHT to have his friends over and that I do not have a right to in his words give his friends the third degree about what their names are or that gee I don't want people in my house that feel they can curse me out, leave messes, do drugs, plot crimes and use my house as a place to come when they get kicked out of their houses for doing the same thing.
I don't know maybe I am unreasonable. I just don't think I should have to sit in my room like I am a prisoner in order for my son to feel welcome in his own home.
I was just starting to feel hopeful about his future and our relationship but after today. I just ain't feeling it.
Sorry about the rant but I need to disgorge before I blew sky high. Thank God I have therapy tomorrow.