Hi All - OK - difficult child has been in the court ordered program for a week. I saw him for the first time. He was a mess. He is the oldest kid by far in the program with the most extensive SA history. He will be 18 in a few weeks. He said the other kids are mostly 15, which the counselor did concur, with much less SA histories and more attitude/behavior issues and repeated pot smoking offenses. He said it has more of a detention feel with very little rehab and he doesn't see himself benefitting at all - more just keeping his back up and trying to stay out of the fray. He asked me to contact his PO and beg to be moved to another program that is more like traditional rehab. For an example, in the one week he has been there, he as not been to any AA or NA meetings and there have been no former addicts visiting to share stories, wisdom, etc. He said the staff is nice but they don't supervise enough so there's fighting, etc and kids get sent to detention for the fighting. In the one week, he has already been in a fight, he has never been in a fight in his life. I am sick over this. I don't know what to do. I did share his concerns with his counselor and I also contacted the PO as he asked to share his thoughts about moving to a move rehab oriented program. I also said to both, this is his request and thoughts and I am open to the idea that he needs to calm down and adjust to the new program. I am struggling with the line between advocating for something that makes sense vs. rescuing him from a situation he created himself. difficult child had many opportunities to change his ways over the past 3 years. Wilderness, structured boarding school, rehab and IOP(multiple times) - he just doesn't take his situation seriously enough. He won't do the AA thing, refuses medications and resists house rules like weeknight bed times and other things he may view as "childish". on the other hand - this program seems like something that could actually make things worse. This program was court ordered after he relapsed and at the time, I was desperate for a chance for him to start again and see if he can get it this time. His got out of rehab in the spring and since then, he did not follow a recovery program, more refused to insisting he can do it on his own in his own way (no AA or sponsor etc). Unfortunately I don't think "his own way" meant being sober, I think it meant finding substances to use that he thought would be ok - or at times, "well I'll just smoke a little pot." Unfortunately for him - it all eventually leads back to despair. I just don't know how far I should go this time or just let the chips fall where they may.