Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Need your thoughts again
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 745392" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>I am going to be blunt. There is NOTHING that you can do to keep him from relapsing. It is completely out of your hands.</p><p></p><p>He only reaches out to you because he knows he can play you. Your son has zero interest in sobriety and recovery. He just wants a place to stay while he does what he wants. He feels no empathy for you and how much you have spent.</p><p></p><p>Addicts only care about themselves and that won't change until he decides that he wants to change. Even then, it takes time and a lot of work for an addict to start caring about others. It is an important part of the 12-step program.</p><p></p><p>If your son was truly interested in getting sober, he could do it without your help financially. He is lucky that he has insurance. He would just have to find a place that will take it. There is no reason for you to spend a penny. Many rehabs will settle for the amount that the insurance will pay. There are even places that take addicts on "scholarships" when they don't have any money or insurance. </p><p></p><p>You sound just like me many years ago. It wasn't until two years of therapy that I was able to say no and set boundaries. When we did (my husband also benefited from therapy), my daughter got sober.</p><p></p><p>I know this is hard to hear but you are enabling him because it is easier for you. Each time you pay for a new rehab/sober living program you get a temporary feeling of hope and relief. The problem is that it never lasts.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry that this is happening to you. </p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 745392, member: 1967"] I am going to be blunt. There is NOTHING that you can do to keep him from relapsing. It is completely out of your hands. He only reaches out to you because he knows he can play you. Your son has zero interest in sobriety and recovery. He just wants a place to stay while he does what he wants. He feels no empathy for you and how much you have spent. Addicts only care about themselves and that won't change until he decides that he wants to change. Even then, it takes time and a lot of work for an addict to start caring about others. It is an important part of the 12-step program. If your son was truly interested in getting sober, he could do it without your help financially. He is lucky that he has insurance. He would just have to find a place that will take it. There is no reason for you to spend a penny. Many rehabs will settle for the amount that the insurance will pay. There are even places that take addicts on "scholarships" when they don't have any money or insurance. You sound just like me many years ago. It wasn't until two years of therapy that I was able to say no and set boundaries. When we did (my husband also benefited from therapy), my daughter got sober. I know this is hard to hear but you are enabling him because it is easier for you. Each time you pay for a new rehab/sober living program you get a temporary feeling of hope and relief. The problem is that it never lasts. I am so sorry that this is happening to you. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Need your thoughts again
Top