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Needing a Soft Place to Land-A Return
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<blockquote data-quote="Waitingforamiracle" data-source="post: 759287" data-attributes="member: 25449"><p>Dazed, Deni, Copa and so many here with our difficult sons, they all seem to pick on us poor moms (Deni my son was always so much worse when my husband wasn't around, even if he was in another room I would get the drama - smashing crockery, demeaning me or saying he hated me, etc. I feel for you being alone and so glad the police came through for you!) We have been through the same - calling the police, son getting furious with us for doing so, it feeding into his narrative of being the victim. One ray of hope I cling to - our boy NEEDED us to throw them out so he HAD to do something for himself. Whether my son is doing so or not I only have his social media to refer to, which is limited, but I think he is OK right now. But detaching from him is also necessary, and I got a rescue dog and purposely don't think about him that much! The story of his overhearing your conversation is typical, my son did exactly that with me. He wants to control you and who you speak to. It's like that 'coercive control" that happens in abusive relationships. I was being abused and so are you. You need to get him out of there, that is my humble opinion. Either that, or you must set out VERY clear boundaries that he understands and there will be consequences if he doesn't follow your rules...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Waitingforamiracle, post: 759287, member: 25449"] Dazed, Deni, Copa and so many here with our difficult sons, they all seem to pick on us poor moms (Deni my son was always so much worse when my husband wasn't around, even if he was in another room I would get the drama - smashing crockery, demeaning me or saying he hated me, etc. I feel for you being alone and so glad the police came through for you!) We have been through the same - calling the police, son getting furious with us for doing so, it feeding into his narrative of being the victim. One ray of hope I cling to - our boy NEEDED us to throw them out so he HAD to do something for himself. Whether my son is doing so or not I only have his social media to refer to, which is limited, but I think he is OK right now. But detaching from him is also necessary, and I got a rescue dog and purposely don't think about him that much! The story of his overhearing your conversation is typical, my son did exactly that with me. He wants to control you and who you speak to. It's like that 'coercive control" that happens in abusive relationships. I was being abused and so are you. You need to get him out of there, that is my humble opinion. Either that, or you must set out VERY clear boundaries that he understands and there will be consequences if he doesn't follow your rules... [/QUOTE]
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