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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724728" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am not a fan of buying our not working difficult adult children cars. At all. They can walk, ride bikes, or if there is public trans take that. You can try paying once more if you want him to have the car, but don't expect him to pay 6k for it. It is highly unlikely he will keep paying and I am guessing you are the one also paying for insurance and gas. I stand apart here...i don't think they deserve cars unless they have a strong work ethic, pay for it, the insurance and gas. I work with two young men who don't drive but work hard and always get to work and back. Most of our difficult adult kids use substances and it blows my mind that sometimes even after intoxicated driving tickets parents pay for the tickets and fix the cars. I dont get it and never will.</p><p></p><p>To me driving is a privledge. Our kids get into so much trouble driving when they are not thriving and mostly partying.</p><p></p><p>My perspective is sell the car. Yes, he will whine that now he can't work. What he really means is he won't walk, ride his bike to work and doesn't really want to work anyway. Not having a car interferes with partying. Thats their issue.</p><p></p><p>At the very least you can take the car and only let him drive after he gets a job and pays. You can make his payment a condition of his driving each month.</p><p></p><p>My kids mostly drove my old car, paying their part of the insurance and gas was on them. We bought my youngest an old but sturdy car for 3K but she was/is a hard worker and my husband, her Dad (my second husband) is a car mechanic which helps. My older kids were teens when I was divorced and money was tighter. They had to deal with it. They did!</p><p></p><p>Although I have had ongoing issues with one of my kids almost since his birth, he always had a good job and he knew he had to do so or have little. He likes "things". All my kids are imperfect. Who isn't? But they all have stellar work ethics, including one awesome adult child with autism. He also doesnt drive but he gets to work and back by walking or bike. Or taxi.</p><p></p><p>Our little city has no public transportation.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!! I dont mean to cditicize. The car stuff really puzzles me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724728, member: 1550"] I am not a fan of buying our not working difficult adult children cars. At all. They can walk, ride bikes, or if there is public trans take that. You can try paying once more if you want him to have the car, but don't expect him to pay 6k for it. It is highly unlikely he will keep paying and I am guessing you are the one also paying for insurance and gas. I stand apart here...i don't think they deserve cars unless they have a strong work ethic, pay for it, the insurance and gas. I work with two young men who don't drive but work hard and always get to work and back. Most of our difficult adult kids use substances and it blows my mind that sometimes even after intoxicated driving tickets parents pay for the tickets and fix the cars. I dont get it and never will. To me driving is a privledge. Our kids get into so much trouble driving when they are not thriving and mostly partying. My perspective is sell the car. Yes, he will whine that now he can't work. What he really means is he won't walk, ride his bike to work and doesn't really want to work anyway. Not having a car interferes with partying. Thats their issue. At the very least you can take the car and only let him drive after he gets a job and pays. You can make his payment a condition of his driving each month. My kids mostly drove my old car, paying their part of the insurance and gas was on them. We bought my youngest an old but sturdy car for 3K but she was/is a hard worker and my husband, her Dad (my second husband) is a car mechanic which helps. My older kids were teens when I was divorced and money was tighter. They had to deal with it. They did! Although I have had ongoing issues with one of my kids almost since his birth, he always had a good job and he knew he had to do so or have little. He likes "things". All my kids are imperfect. Who isn't? But they all have stellar work ethics, including one awesome adult child with autism. He also doesnt drive but he gets to work and back by walking or bike. Or taxi. Our little city has no public transportation. Good luck!! I dont mean to cditicize. The car stuff really puzzles me. [/QUOTE]
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