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Neighbors called police on my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 48707" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>Thank you all for your responses!</p><p></p><p>He attends social skills classes at school and has been in some type of social skills therapy for the last 3 or 4 years. He knows what he's supposed to do he just can't do it in real life.</p><p></p><p>I've tried role playing with him but he always refuses to do it. He can tell you the correct reaction to every possible situation but getting him to do it is another story.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has a friend across the street and his mom and I talk a lot. She has welcomed him into her home and told him to make himself at home. He can go to the cabinets when he wants and grab a snack. I guess he thought this was appropriate at his other friend's house as well. You can't tell him these things, he won't listen or learn.</p><p></p><p>Yes - difficult child is going to apologize to the neighbors. It seems to be a regular routine with him lately. He is very apologetic after the fact, but doesn't seem to change his future behavior.</p><p></p><p>I've individually talked to all the neighbors with kids to explain the situation. Our neighbor right next door seems to understand difficult child completely and he's still welcome there. Same with across the street. After my talks with the others, they seem understanding but you never know. One is a high school teacher and he is willing to give difficult child more of a chance. He thanked me for coming to talk with him. The mother who's house he barged in on listened but she still doesn't want to deal with him. The neighbor's who called the police say he can come over again but he's not going for awhile. I'm not sure they're completely on board although they say they will let us know if any problems arise again before calling the police. They don't think they overreacted by calling the police, so they may be inclined to do it again if difficult child acts up and we're not around.</p><p></p><p>I am usually outside when difficult child is so I can keep an eye on him and I often follow him to the neighbors. Before this weekend I have tried to let him make his friends and go off on his own but I see I have to pull back. People wonder why my house is such a mess but I can't do anything when I have to monitor him whenever we're at home.</p><p></p><p>It's hard because I'd love to let him go to the neighbors who do understand him and want to give him a chance because he'll go to the other neighbors and trouble will start. Or he'll be riding his bike in front of their house on the way home and trouble will start. </p><p></p><p>I do think the neighbor overreacted as well. difficult child was only there for maybe 10 minutes. husband was at home just 2 houses away. difficult child didn't get physical in anyway and didn't threaten any physical harm. </p><p></p><p>I knew when the father told me he pushed difficult child's bike that that was the big trigger. difficult child said he didn't push hard and he wasn't scared (he sort of nudged the bike to get difficult child to start leaving), but to difficult child I'm sure it put him in defensive mode. I tried to explain to the father (and mother) that getting angry with difficult child and confronting him like that often makes things worse. I told them I didn't blame them at all and most any other kid would have reacted better, but difficult child doesn't react like most kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 48707, member: 45"] Thank you all for your responses! He attends social skills classes at school and has been in some type of social skills therapy for the last 3 or 4 years. He knows what he's supposed to do he just can't do it in real life. I've tried role playing with him but he always refuses to do it. He can tell you the correct reaction to every possible situation but getting him to do it is another story. difficult child has a friend across the street and his mom and I talk a lot. She has welcomed him into her home and told him to make himself at home. He can go to the cabinets when he wants and grab a snack. I guess he thought this was appropriate at his other friend's house as well. You can't tell him these things, he won't listen or learn. Yes - difficult child is going to apologize to the neighbors. It seems to be a regular routine with him lately. He is very apologetic after the fact, but doesn't seem to change his future behavior. I've individually talked to all the neighbors with kids to explain the situation. Our neighbor right next door seems to understand difficult child completely and he's still welcome there. Same with across the street. After my talks with the others, they seem understanding but you never know. One is a high school teacher and he is willing to give difficult child more of a chance. He thanked me for coming to talk with him. The mother who's house he barged in on listened but she still doesn't want to deal with him. The neighbor's who called the police say he can come over again but he's not going for awhile. I'm not sure they're completely on board although they say they will let us know if any problems arise again before calling the police. They don't think they overreacted by calling the police, so they may be inclined to do it again if difficult child acts up and we're not around. I am usually outside when difficult child is so I can keep an eye on him and I often follow him to the neighbors. Before this weekend I have tried to let him make his friends and go off on his own but I see I have to pull back. People wonder why my house is such a mess but I can't do anything when I have to monitor him whenever we're at home. It's hard because I'd love to let him go to the neighbors who do understand him and want to give him a chance because he'll go to the other neighbors and trouble will start. Or he'll be riding his bike in front of their house on the way home and trouble will start. I do think the neighbor overreacted as well. difficult child was only there for maybe 10 minutes. husband was at home just 2 houses away. difficult child didn't get physical in anyway and didn't threaten any physical harm. I knew when the father told me he pushed difficult child's bike that that was the big trigger. difficult child said he didn't push hard and he wasn't scared (he sort of nudged the bike to get difficult child to start leaving), but to difficult child I'm sure it put him in defensive mode. I tried to explain to the father (and mother) that getting angry with difficult child and confronting him like that often makes things worse. I told them I didn't blame them at all and most any other kid would have reacted better, but difficult child doesn't react like most kids. [/QUOTE]
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