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Neighbors called police on my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 48711" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Ohhhh.........I have been through this over and <em>over</em> and <strong>over</strong> again!!!!! :cry:</p><p>It is one of the most horrible, neverending, experiences I have had to endure with my difficult child, and there have been a lot. In fact, to this day, when I see a cop car, I get a panicked feeling in my stomach. I could probably write a 20 page novelette about our experiences in the neighborhood - but suffice to say my difficult child is no longer allowed to leave this house, and we are considering moving to a new neighborhood to simply try and get a fresh start. </p><p></p><p>My only words of advice would be to nip it in the bud sooner than I did, and not let your son play with the neighbor kids - period. I kept trying to iron things out with various neighbors, explaining his diagnosis, blah blah blah.......but in the long run, it did not matter what I said and did because rumors and gossip are bigger than empathy and truth. Eventually, not only did my difficult child build himself a horrible reputation - but the gossip built him an even bigger one - and he could not even set foot outside of our yard without the cops being called. I am NOT kidding!!!!!! We have had the cops at our house probably a dozen times - always with difficult child in tow - and yet he has not ever committed an actual crime.</p><p></p><p>Finally after two years of this off and on - his reputation and the rumors escalated to a point where neither of us would go out of the house. He is still suffering from agorophobia, and will not walk in the neighrborhood, or ride his bike. And although I have managed to reclaim my neighborhood as my own, I still want to move because the judgement hangs so heavily in the air.</p><p></p><p>I don't know - I just think that most parents would rather judge, criticize, and condemn rather than help a difficult child - at least that has been my experience. easy child parents can't see past the difficult children outrageous antics, to the sweet, scared little bo or girl. Instead they assume that these kids are going to be the next columbine killer - and treat them as such.</p><p></p><p>So - I guess, to answer your question - yes. It is possible he will not be able to play with the neighborhood kids. If I were you, I would start setting up play dates for you difficult child with specific friends, always at your house, so that you can try and get him as many individual friends as possible and the "neighborhood crowd" will not be as important. This way the interactions are always at your house, under your watch, and you also have the ability to build a personal rapport with the parents of these individual friends. And, if I were you, I would veto your difficult child running with the neighborhood crowd for a good 6 months until things settle down. Because, unfortunately, your son getting taken home by the cops was probably the dinner topic of every house on your block - and from this point forward, parents will be "on the lookout" for even one false move from your difficult child. </p><p></p><p>Good luck - and I am so sorry you are going through this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 48711, member: 3301"] Ohhhh.........I have been through this over and [i]over[/i] and [b]over[/b] again!!!!! [img]:cry:[/img] It is one of the most horrible, neverending, experiences I have had to endure with my difficult child, and there have been a lot. In fact, to this day, when I see a cop car, I get a panicked feeling in my stomach. I could probably write a 20 page novelette about our experiences in the neighborhood - but suffice to say my difficult child is no longer allowed to leave this house, and we are considering moving to a new neighborhood to simply try and get a fresh start. My only words of advice would be to nip it in the bud sooner than I did, and not let your son play with the neighbor kids - period. I kept trying to iron things out with various neighbors, explaining his diagnosis, blah blah blah.......but in the long run, it did not matter what I said and did because rumors and gossip are bigger than empathy and truth. Eventually, not only did my difficult child build himself a horrible reputation - but the gossip built him an even bigger one - and he could not even set foot outside of our yard without the cops being called. I am NOT kidding!!!!!! We have had the cops at our house probably a dozen times - always with difficult child in tow - and yet he has not ever committed an actual crime. Finally after two years of this off and on - his reputation and the rumors escalated to a point where neither of us would go out of the house. He is still suffering from agorophobia, and will not walk in the neighrborhood, or ride his bike. And although I have managed to reclaim my neighborhood as my own, I still want to move because the judgement hangs so heavily in the air. I don't know - I just think that most parents would rather judge, criticize, and condemn rather than help a difficult child - at least that has been my experience. easy child parents can't see past the difficult children outrageous antics, to the sweet, scared little bo or girl. Instead they assume that these kids are going to be the next columbine killer - and treat them as such. So - I guess, to answer your question - yes. It is possible he will not be able to play with the neighborhood kids. If I were you, I would start setting up play dates for you difficult child with specific friends, always at your house, so that you can try and get him as many individual friends as possible and the "neighborhood crowd" will not be as important. This way the interactions are always at your house, under your watch, and you also have the ability to build a personal rapport with the parents of these individual friends. And, if I were you, I would veto your difficult child running with the neighborhood crowd for a good 6 months until things settle down. Because, unfortunately, your son getting taken home by the cops was probably the dinner topic of every house on your block - and from this point forward, parents will be "on the lookout" for even one false move from your difficult child. Good luck - and I am so sorry you are going through this. [/QUOTE]
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