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Neighbors called police on my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 48979" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>Thanks again for your thoughts and advice.</p><p></p><p>difficult child had a great day yesterday. He wanted to go outside so we went for a walk. None of his friends were out so it worked out well. He was well-behaved for the most part until late in the evening.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is now saying that the neighbor hit his arm. I always have to be careful because difficult child's interpretation isn't always on target, so I asked him to demonstrate the hit. Well, difficult child hit my arm hard and grabbed it. I'm sure it wasn't as hard as difficult child says, but I'm sure the man grabbed him by the arm. difficult child hates when anyone touches him - even a friendly pat on the back, so this makes the whole incident more clear to me.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is having major problems connecting with other kids his age. It's really gotten bad this year. When he was younger the other kids were more accepting and would put up with him, or forget more easily. I can see this is just the beginning and I'm not looking forward to it. </p><p></p><p>We talk all the time and sort of do the social stories out loud. But he will not role play - never would. It makes him mad if I try to make him so I just don't. He's very good at verbalizing what he should say or do, so there's hope that someday it may click and he will learn to actually do it.</p><p></p><p>Walking away - it's a daily conversation for us. When I do shadow him I see all the time that he just needs to walk away. The smallest thing a kids says or does he misinterprets and takes the wrong way.</p><p></p><p>The neighbor is not a health nut but may be classified as extremely religious and very overprotective of his kids. The kids are not allowed to go in anyone else's house for any reason (my 7 year old had a birthday part and invited his 7 year old. He couldn't come because it was inside our house.) The 7 year old can't come 2 houses down to our house to play with easy child, even if I'm out, unless his 11 year old sister is with him. They have been living there a long time and the other neighbors don't really know them - they don't interact much although they were friendly the other day when I went to talk to them. Extremely religious - not necessarily a bad thing but it explains how offended he was by difficult child's language and overall attitude.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has been told by me to stay away from their house even if he is invited by the kids, even if I allow him to leave our yard without a parent, etc. </p><p></p><p>Janet - yes I really really wish they had called us instead of the police. difficult child is still "scared straight" but it's only been 2 days and he still thinks his actions were justified.</p><p></p><p>Mikey - I see exactly what you describe in my difficult child. Everything is black and white and everything is extreme - in how he sees people and how he behaves. He makes up his own rules and gets mad when others break them.</p><p></p><p>I'm still not sure what to do about the policeman. The neighbor across the street is also a policewoman, in a nearby town. She does have police-friends in this town though. I'm going to talk to her and see what she recommends. We just moved from St. Louis last year to this small town so I'm not sure I have the small town skills to deal with this the right way! </p><p></p><p>Thanks again everyone - whenever I start to doubt myself or my interpretations of things I come here and see that I'm not off-base at all. </p><p></p><p>Linda</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 48979, member: 45"] Thanks again for your thoughts and advice. difficult child had a great day yesterday. He wanted to go outside so we went for a walk. None of his friends were out so it worked out well. He was well-behaved for the most part until late in the evening. difficult child is now saying that the neighbor hit his arm. I always have to be careful because difficult child's interpretation isn't always on target, so I asked him to demonstrate the hit. Well, difficult child hit my arm hard and grabbed it. I'm sure it wasn't as hard as difficult child says, but I'm sure the man grabbed him by the arm. difficult child hates when anyone touches him - even a friendly pat on the back, so this makes the whole incident more clear to me. difficult child is having major problems connecting with other kids his age. It's really gotten bad this year. When he was younger the other kids were more accepting and would put up with him, or forget more easily. I can see this is just the beginning and I'm not looking forward to it. We talk all the time and sort of do the social stories out loud. But he will not role play - never would. It makes him mad if I try to make him so I just don't. He's very good at verbalizing what he should say or do, so there's hope that someday it may click and he will learn to actually do it. Walking away - it's a daily conversation for us. When I do shadow him I see all the time that he just needs to walk away. The smallest thing a kids says or does he misinterprets and takes the wrong way. The neighbor is not a health nut but may be classified as extremely religious and very overprotective of his kids. The kids are not allowed to go in anyone else's house for any reason (my 7 year old had a birthday part and invited his 7 year old. He couldn't come because it was inside our house.) The 7 year old can't come 2 houses down to our house to play with easy child, even if I'm out, unless his 11 year old sister is with him. They have been living there a long time and the other neighbors don't really know them - they don't interact much although they were friendly the other day when I went to talk to them. Extremely religious - not necessarily a bad thing but it explains how offended he was by difficult child's language and overall attitude. difficult child has been told by me to stay away from their house even if he is invited by the kids, even if I allow him to leave our yard without a parent, etc. Janet - yes I really really wish they had called us instead of the police. difficult child is still "scared straight" but it's only been 2 days and he still thinks his actions were justified. Mikey - I see exactly what you describe in my difficult child. Everything is black and white and everything is extreme - in how he sees people and how he behaves. He makes up his own rules and gets mad when others break them. I'm still not sure what to do about the policeman. The neighbor across the street is also a policewoman, in a nearby town. She does have police-friends in this town though. I'm going to talk to her and see what she recommends. We just moved from St. Louis last year to this small town so I'm not sure I have the small town skills to deal with this the right way! Thanks again everyone - whenever I start to doubt myself or my interpretations of things I come here and see that I'm not off-base at all. Linda [/QUOTE]
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