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Family of Origin
Never meant this was a useless forum
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 685823" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>While I think the reading of the FOO-work might be instructive or even interesting, I do not think it would much enable change. I believe that any changing was done in the relationship formed. I think that each of us needed to know that there was a reader who had something at stake, that would hear, and respond. I believe that the level of acceptance....in itself was healing. Not accepting impropriety, but the continuing <em>illusion</em> that there was acceptance of the person. But the thing is, that is what fell apart. Real people were involved, not avatars.</p><p></p><p>There is a way that I am left with the sense that I was not seen and heard as a person, but in some barely dimensional sense, as someone who wrote useful and helpful things, but was not in my own self worthy.</p><p></p><p>That is why I am not sure it was worth it to me. And why at least in a feeling state, it was a failure. There is nothing I learned or experienced that was worth the default. </p><p></p><p>To me there was a schematic quality, when I look back, not a holistic one. Instrumentalism, not reciprocity. There was the illusion of reciprocity. I guess that is why it could end so easily.</p><p></p><p>The awareness of this is useful because it calls me to acknowledge and value and to work hard at the relationships I do have, most especially with my son and with M. Here is where risk is rewarded, and relationship strengthened and sustained. </p><p></p><p>I guess that in itself is growth. And if FOO helped me to this, I am grateful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 685823, member: 18958"] While I think the reading of the FOO-work might be instructive or even interesting, I do not think it would much enable change. I believe that any changing was done in the relationship formed. I think that each of us needed to know that there was a reader who had something at stake, that would hear, and respond. I believe that the level of acceptance....in itself was healing. Not accepting impropriety, but the continuing [I]illusion[/I] that there was acceptance of the person. But the thing is, that is what fell apart. Real people were involved, not avatars. There is a way that I am left with the sense that I was not seen and heard as a person, but in some barely dimensional sense, as someone who wrote useful and helpful things, but was not in my own self worthy. That is why I am not sure it was worth it to me. And why at least in a feeling state, it was a failure. There is nothing I learned or experienced that was worth the default. To me there was a schematic quality, when I look back, not a holistic one. Instrumentalism, not reciprocity. There was the illusion of reciprocity. I guess that is why it could end so easily. The awareness of this is useful because it calls me to acknowledge and value and to work hard at the relationships I do have, most especially with my son and with M. Here is where risk is rewarded, and relationship strengthened and sustained. I guess that in itself is growth. And if FOO helped me to this, I am grateful. [/QUOTE]
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