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never seen grandchildren
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 710417" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I understand your feelings. I am not in your situation but could have been. At one point I thought I was headed there. I have one son we had to have live with my parents because he was determined to harm his sister and I would not allow it = she NEVER was mean to him or did anything other than breathe to upset him. The usual sibling stuff happened, but she could be asleep in her own room and he would go off and suddenly decide he had to hurt her. He had to live elsewhere and it broke my heart and my husband's too. My son saw it as us choosing her over him. He wanted nothing to do with me.</p><p></p><p>He would do things with my husband but not with me. If he had a crisis it was all Mom, but only because Mom was the drill sargeant who won't leave him alone then. I had to almost totally let him go for years. He doesn't have kids, and we finally have a relationship, but it took a lot of years. </p><p></p><p>I totally understand the feeling of being disrespected, and of not wanting to reach out, of just letting it go. It is sad, especially for the children. They are being robbed of a very special relationship, but that is their father's choice. I am glad you have a good relationship with your son, and I hope that one day you have grandchildren with him.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, why not go and read at the local elementary school or library if you have time? They always need volunteers and you sound like you like kids. It doesn't take a lot of time, and it is fun. I have a friend who had a son who cut her off from his kids because she wouldn't pay his bills. Part of how she dealt with not seeing her grandkids was to go and read at the local school once a week. She loves it. She spends some of the money seh used to send her no good son on books for the classroom. You don't have to do that = the library has lots of books, she just likes to. Or you could help coach a team at the Y if you have the time and like sports. They always need help too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 710417, member: 1233"] I understand your feelings. I am not in your situation but could have been. At one point I thought I was headed there. I have one son we had to have live with my parents because he was determined to harm his sister and I would not allow it = she NEVER was mean to him or did anything other than breathe to upset him. The usual sibling stuff happened, but she could be asleep in her own room and he would go off and suddenly decide he had to hurt her. He had to live elsewhere and it broke my heart and my husband's too. My son saw it as us choosing her over him. He wanted nothing to do with me. He would do things with my husband but not with me. If he had a crisis it was all Mom, but only because Mom was the drill sargeant who won't leave him alone then. I had to almost totally let him go for years. He doesn't have kids, and we finally have a relationship, but it took a lot of years. I totally understand the feeling of being disrespected, and of not wanting to reach out, of just letting it go. It is sad, especially for the children. They are being robbed of a very special relationship, but that is their father's choice. I am glad you have a good relationship with your son, and I hope that one day you have grandchildren with him. In the meantime, why not go and read at the local elementary school or library if you have time? They always need volunteers and you sound like you like kids. It doesn't take a lot of time, and it is fun. I have a friend who had a son who cut her off from his kids because she wouldn't pay his bills. Part of how she dealt with not seeing her grandkids was to go and read at the local school once a week. She loves it. She spends some of the money seh used to send her no good son on books for the classroom. You don't have to do that = the library has lots of books, she just likes to. Or you could help coach a team at the Y if you have the time and like sports. They always need help too. [/QUOTE]
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