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New - 8 year old on the verge of being expelled - long
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 473514" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Crikey, I've never heard of Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) and I'm an Aussie.</p><p></p><p>Welcome, Bell. I'm a little late to this, but from reading the first post, I was thinking that Poe needs to be evaluated for Asperger's too. If you suspect it in Salinger, then it has to be considered first for any other problems in the other kids.</p><p></p><p>You will hear that spectrum kids are all different. This is so even in siblings. I speak from experience - I've raised a cluster of them! The only two who have a diagnosis are my boys. difficult child 1 was always withdrawn, would curl up in a ball on the floor if anyone tried to talk to him. Terrified of kittens, puppies and getting wet. We went years without him getting his hair washed. He would tolerate a bath but no water above the neck. I could use a damp washcloth on him, that was all. But difficult child 3 - outgoing, would approach total strangers, very forthright, doesn't get shy or nervous, ever. </p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 hated any attention. He would also curl up in my lap and cling like a koala. If anyone tried to wish him happy birthday (or, heaven forbid, organise happy birthday being sung for him) he would not emerge for hours. difficult child 3 on the other hand went round Sydney telling everyone it was his birthday. He was four years old and had only just identified what a birthday was. Lucky for him, it was also the Aussie equivalent of Independence Day, so he got A LOT of attention! And from his perspective, all of Sydney was celebrating HIS birthday (and not the birth of a nation).</p><p></p><p>They can be very, very different. But at a very basic level, if you really look, you can see the similarities. What were the hallmarks for me with my boys - </p><p></p><p>1) Inability to distinguish between adults and children, in interactions.</p><p></p><p>2) Extreme distractibility. It's like all sensory input is wide open, and the child has to learn how to narrow down the aperture of their world. difficult child 1 especially did this, he could zone out in a noisy, crowded room. However, difficult child 3 can multitask and his brother can't, so difficult child 3 has not had to learn to tune out sensory input like his brother. So difficult child 1 would SEEM to be able to focus intently, but only because he was facing the front of the classroom with his eyes open and unblinking. But then, this boy can sleep with his eyes open.</p><p></p><p>3) Obsessive, often perseverative, on their pet topic. The topic can and does change as their interests change. difficult child 1 was obsessed with fossils. Then dinosaurs. Then he accepted that birds evolved from dinosaurs so birds became his obsession. Then it narrowed further to eagles. Especially the Australian Wedge-Tailed Eagle. difficult child 3 is obsessed with anything electronic and is gifted in problem-solving. A recent neuropsychologist assessment resulted in a perfect score in non-verbal problem solving. And a rock bottom score in memory recall. </p><p></p><p>The violence you describe - we get it too, but only with difficult child 3. There was a time when difficult child 1 was violent, but usually only when medications were wearing off or in some other way reduced effectiveness (caffeine would set off both boys). The violence is born of frustration (extreme) and difficulty understanding alternative action possibilities. They then get into bad habits behaviourally, and it takes a lot more work to unlearn the wrong behaviours. Explosive Child can help you both learn to behave differently toward each other - you need to be the first to change, even though you are not the problem. But someone has to start the process, you are the adult so you need to be the hero. It's not fairt, but tta's life.</p><p></p><p>oh, yes. One more hallmark for me, you also get it in very, very bright kids - an insistence on justice (as they perceive it to be). Anything considered unjust really, really upsets them.</p><p></p><p>Other hallmarks of Asperger's/autism - they are loving. They don't always show affection or emotions in ways others recognise, but these kids feel very intensely. They are loyal. Honest. Scrupulously, tactlessly honest. They can learn how to moderate their behaviour and responses but it grates on them to have to be polite, if it means having to lie. "No, your bum does not look big in that." (yeah, right).</p><p></p><p>They can often achieve well in some subjects at school, as long as they are not too abstract. Once the work gets more complex and subtle, they can struggle. But they are capable.</p><p></p><p>My older son couldn't write a story to save his life. Essays, ditto. But we got him through school which required him to master essay writing. His teachers deserve a lot of credit.</p><p>difficult child 3 - he writes poetry, he writes stories. Fiction. Imaginative narrative. But he is definitely autistic.</p><p></p><p>I have to run, school just rang me and I need to pay attention to them.</p><p></p><p>More later.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 473514, member: 1991"] Crikey, I've never heard of Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) and I'm an Aussie. Welcome, Bell. I'm a little late to this, but from reading the first post, I was thinking that Poe needs to be evaluated for Asperger's too. If you suspect it in Salinger, then it has to be considered first for any other problems in the other kids. You will hear that spectrum kids are all different. This is so even in siblings. I speak from experience - I've raised a cluster of them! The only two who have a diagnosis are my boys. difficult child 1 was always withdrawn, would curl up in a ball on the floor if anyone tried to talk to him. Terrified of kittens, puppies and getting wet. We went years without him getting his hair washed. He would tolerate a bath but no water above the neck. I could use a damp washcloth on him, that was all. But difficult child 3 - outgoing, would approach total strangers, very forthright, doesn't get shy or nervous, ever. difficult child 1 hated any attention. He would also curl up in my lap and cling like a koala. If anyone tried to wish him happy birthday (or, heaven forbid, organise happy birthday being sung for him) he would not emerge for hours. difficult child 3 on the other hand went round Sydney telling everyone it was his birthday. He was four years old and had only just identified what a birthday was. Lucky for him, it was also the Aussie equivalent of Independence Day, so he got A LOT of attention! And from his perspective, all of Sydney was celebrating HIS birthday (and not the birth of a nation). They can be very, very different. But at a very basic level, if you really look, you can see the similarities. What were the hallmarks for me with my boys - 1) Inability to distinguish between adults and children, in interactions. 2) Extreme distractibility. It's like all sensory input is wide open, and the child has to learn how to narrow down the aperture of their world. difficult child 1 especially did this, he could zone out in a noisy, crowded room. However, difficult child 3 can multitask and his brother can't, so difficult child 3 has not had to learn to tune out sensory input like his brother. So difficult child 1 would SEEM to be able to focus intently, but only because he was facing the front of the classroom with his eyes open and unblinking. But then, this boy can sleep with his eyes open. 3) Obsessive, often perseverative, on their pet topic. The topic can and does change as their interests change. difficult child 1 was obsessed with fossils. Then dinosaurs. Then he accepted that birds evolved from dinosaurs so birds became his obsession. Then it narrowed further to eagles. Especially the Australian Wedge-Tailed Eagle. difficult child 3 is obsessed with anything electronic and is gifted in problem-solving. A recent neuropsychologist assessment resulted in a perfect score in non-verbal problem solving. And a rock bottom score in memory recall. The violence you describe - we get it too, but only with difficult child 3. There was a time when difficult child 1 was violent, but usually only when medications were wearing off or in some other way reduced effectiveness (caffeine would set off both boys). The violence is born of frustration (extreme) and difficulty understanding alternative action possibilities. They then get into bad habits behaviourally, and it takes a lot more work to unlearn the wrong behaviours. Explosive Child can help you both learn to behave differently toward each other - you need to be the first to change, even though you are not the problem. But someone has to start the process, you are the adult so you need to be the hero. It's not fairt, but tta's life. oh, yes. One more hallmark for me, you also get it in very, very bright kids - an insistence on justice (as they perceive it to be). Anything considered unjust really, really upsets them. Other hallmarks of Asperger's/autism - they are loving. They don't always show affection or emotions in ways others recognise, but these kids feel very intensely. They are loyal. Honest. Scrupulously, tactlessly honest. They can learn how to moderate their behaviour and responses but it grates on them to have to be polite, if it means having to lie. "No, your bum does not look big in that." (yeah, right). They can often achieve well in some subjects at school, as long as they are not too abstract. Once the work gets more complex and subtle, they can struggle. But they are capable. My older son couldn't write a story to save his life. Essays, ditto. But we got him through school which required him to master essay writing. His teachers deserve a lot of credit. difficult child 3 - he writes poetry, he writes stories. Fiction. Imaginative narrative. But he is definitely autistic. I have to run, school just rang me and I need to pay attention to them. More later. Marg [/QUOTE]
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