3babygirls
New Member
Hello everyone! I am new and very thankful I found this board to help me cope at a time I feel like my whole world is crumbling in my home. I have a 7yr old daughter who although has not yet been diagnosed (going to psch. on 23rd) we have very strong feelings she is ODD. The odd behavior was noticed at age 3-4 but I associated it with her just being too young to know better. As time went on the behavior was again noticed to be increasing when she started school but at that time the teacher felt she was a "late bloomer" and "immature". Here we are now in first grade, behavior and symptoms have gotten a bit worse despite all our efforts and cooperation with school to find something that helps the situation. At home....well it's a place I no longer even want to be anymore. difficult child's problems are effecting everyone at home, even my marriage. husband is their loving stepdad but he too has been growing increasingly stressed over the situation. difficult child's bio father is a mess to say the least. We divorced while I was pregnant with her, he's had very very little sporadic periods of contact with her. He was diagnosed with adult adhd and he is a drug addict, in and out of prison. I am a professional, never had drug issues or anything; come from a pretty normal upbringing in an upper middle class family. My other daughter is 10- she doesn't have any issues and is a normal kid(she is the bio sister of my difficult child). I also have a 1 yr old to my husband which is my second marriage. I've always been a pretty happy easy going person even when things weren't going so hot; but now I find myself just miserable,angry, frustrated, stressed and unhappy at home. It's chaos. Everyone is always yelling, my husband and I are arguing more and more which adds to the stress on us all. I know this all is not helping our situation but we just don't know how else to release the negative energy-so we yell to try to get the some cooperation. Nothing seems to get through to our difficult child. We've done the take aways-she could care less, we've done grounding-no reaction other than she's not happy about it, spanking-did nothing, talking-she avoids the topic and changes the subject in mid sentence, we tried rewards-only works for the moment not longterm. When I ask my difficult child why she behaves this way she tells me over and over "she doesn't know and can't help it, she tries to be good". I wonder if she really is telling me the truth or if it's just an excuse?? We're going to a child psychologist on the 23rd and the day couldn't come soon enough for me. I'm afraid my perfect little family is falling apart and eventually it will even destroy my marriage. I get no time at all to myself ever. husband gets an attitude if I want to do something I enjoy without him or the kids. He complains he doesn't get a break to do things he enjoys because there is always something that needs done around the house; but I encourage him to go hunting or fishing he just finds excuses not to go. I wonder if it's always gonna be like this or if counseling will make a difference with my difficult child? I don't want medications for her. Surprisingly she does well on an academic standpoint-is very smart in school. I keep asking myself where this all came from with her, why this child of mine? I need some help with coping skills until we can see the M.D. I just want to runaway right now because I feel like I am breaking down.