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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 705215" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>Hi and welcome. I too had difficult time with son when younger. He had temper outbursts, defiance disorder, ADHD, learning disability which I didn't discover until he was 4. I thought he was just strong willed. He would go from happy to violent in 60 seconds. I was hard on him at first not understanding what was wrong. He was first child, I had no idea how to handle such a difficult child. Trial and error. Finally after daycare suggested something was wrong, got him tested and then went to behavior specialist who showed us how to help him when he was out of control. Yes, the guilt of a parent not having the skills do deal with such a child is hard. I made mistakes with him, this I know. I did apologize to him and we talked about it over the years. But you make decisions at the time you think are best for them and your family. </p><p></p><p>I would seek counseling to handle the guilt issues for yourself. Maybe joint counseling after that. We can't allow ourselves to be their whipping boy because we weren't perfect parents, didn't have the skills and knowledge of how to handle children who have disabilities. </p><p></p><p>Call social security and set up appointment for applying for SSDI. Have all medical documentation with you when you go. They will fill out application for you with the info you provide. He definitely should qualify.</p><p></p><p>It's hard knowing they are on streets, homeless. But, it's her house, her rules. But this abusive cycle he has with you has to change. YOU have to forgive yourself first. We all have made mistakes and if we could do a redo, that would be great. But we can't. Keep us posted and you will find lot of strength and support here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 705215, member: 19951"] Hi and welcome. I too had difficult time with son when younger. He had temper outbursts, defiance disorder, ADHD, learning disability which I didn't discover until he was 4. I thought he was just strong willed. He would go from happy to violent in 60 seconds. I was hard on him at first not understanding what was wrong. He was first child, I had no idea how to handle such a difficult child. Trial and error. Finally after daycare suggested something was wrong, got him tested and then went to behavior specialist who showed us how to help him when he was out of control. Yes, the guilt of a parent not having the skills do deal with such a child is hard. I made mistakes with him, this I know. I did apologize to him and we talked about it over the years. But you make decisions at the time you think are best for them and your family. I would seek counseling to handle the guilt issues for yourself. Maybe joint counseling after that. We can't allow ourselves to be their whipping boy because we weren't perfect parents, didn't have the skills and knowledge of how to handle children who have disabilities. Call social security and set up appointment for applying for SSDI. Have all medical documentation with you when you go. They will fill out application for you with the info you provide. He definitely should qualify. It's hard knowing they are on streets, homeless. But, it's her house, her rules. But this abusive cycle he has with you has to change. YOU have to forgive yourself first. We all have made mistakes and if we could do a redo, that would be great. But we can't. Keep us posted and you will find lot of strength and support here. [/QUOTE]
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