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<blockquote data-quote="LJFromOz" data-source="post: 745927" data-attributes="member: 23557"><p>We have spoken quite a bit to the 19 year old about him (but he doesn't live here full time - just home for the summer.) We haven't really spoken to the 15 year old much about his brother's issues. Right now he has very little impact on their lives. He's not violent and we don't really argue with him - well, not when the other boys are home. We try never to raise any issues with Difficult Child in front of the other two. He's perfectly nice to everyone as long as they are not suggesting he do something (clean up after himself, look for work etc.) When we do raise these issues he's rude and dismissive or complains about how hard things are for him - resorting to the suicide threats when we really push things with him. Most of the time he is at home he is in his bedroom and doesn't have an impact on the other two. He likes his brothers and is generally nice to both of them.</p><p></p><p>My main concern is that he will do something (such as be arrested for drug use) that will cause embarrassment or shame to the other two - especially my youngest who is still at high school. We live in a small town and people gossip. I really don't want my youngest being put in a situation where other parents don't want their kids to hang out with him because of his brother. So far we've avoided this, but I fear it's only a matter of time that something disastrous happens.</p><p></p><p>I guess in some ways we are lucky that our house is fairly calm. Difficult Child just sits in his room playing video games or sleeping when he's here. He spends a lot of his time at his friend's place playing video games (and probably smoking dope.) I guess our main issue is that he is just wasting away quietly - depressed, sometimes high and not doing anything at all to take steps to live a productive life.</p><p></p><p>We talked today about how he needed to show us he was attempting to find a full time job if he wants to keep living here. He agreed but then went back to his room and continued to play games all day. It was a soft start - didn't mention the deadline yet, but we will.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LJFromOz, post: 745927, member: 23557"] We have spoken quite a bit to the 19 year old about him (but he doesn't live here full time - just home for the summer.) We haven't really spoken to the 15 year old much about his brother's issues. Right now he has very little impact on their lives. He's not violent and we don't really argue with him - well, not when the other boys are home. We try never to raise any issues with Difficult Child in front of the other two. He's perfectly nice to everyone as long as they are not suggesting he do something (clean up after himself, look for work etc.) When we do raise these issues he's rude and dismissive or complains about how hard things are for him - resorting to the suicide threats when we really push things with him. Most of the time he is at home he is in his bedroom and doesn't have an impact on the other two. He likes his brothers and is generally nice to both of them. My main concern is that he will do something (such as be arrested for drug use) that will cause embarrassment or shame to the other two - especially my youngest who is still at high school. We live in a small town and people gossip. I really don't want my youngest being put in a situation where other parents don't want their kids to hang out with him because of his brother. So far we've avoided this, but I fear it's only a matter of time that something disastrous happens. I guess in some ways we are lucky that our house is fairly calm. Difficult Child just sits in his room playing video games or sleeping when he's here. He spends a lot of his time at his friend's place playing video games (and probably smoking dope.) I guess our main issue is that he is just wasting away quietly - depressed, sometimes high and not doing anything at all to take steps to live a productive life. We talked today about how he needed to show us he was attempting to find a full time job if he wants to keep living here. He agreed but then went back to his room and continued to play games all day. It was a soft start - didn't mention the deadline yet, but we will. [/QUOTE]
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