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Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by feelinalone, Feb 11, 2008.

  1. feelinalone

    feelinalone New Member

  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Wanted to pop in & offer you my welcome. Many of us have been in your situation (or situations of similar nature) - where life with a difficult child (Gift from God - the child who brought us here).

    I'm the parent of children abused in the bio home & I can understand how that paper might affect your mindset; I don't think I could write it.

    in my humble opinion, it's time to sit down & prioritize things. You have a heavy schedule (I'm betting) at school, a single parent to boot. A single parent to a very busy 7 y/o boy (never met a 7 y/o who wasn't busy), plus you're just trying to survive live.

    First & foremost I'd like to recommend you find a copy of The Explosive Child By Ross Greene....may give you insights into your difficult child. Will give you coping skills in dealing with our many inflexible children.

    Secondly, I'd like to see you carve out at the very least 10 minutes (60 is ideal) daily for yourself. To do whatever it is you need to do to recenter; to find your spirit for the day.

    Other parents of difficult children will be here to offer more.

    We're here for ideas - you'll leave with a great deal more; moral support & empathy.
  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Welcome to the crowd! I second Linda in the reading of The Explosive Child. It's an easy read, not full of technical jargon and I have to say, I laughed at a lot of the examples he gave because I swore that he wrote it while sitting in my living room.

    I don't know what to tell you, my biggest PITA is my 9 year old. AND he was a PITA this morning, so I'm not in the best of moods typing this. I will admit to doing my "jig of glee" when the bus pulled around the corner with the 3 of them on it!

    You've really got your hands full and it's exhausting. If you feel that your depression is affecting home, school, work and your interactions in life, go talk to your doctor. You'll see by the signatures on the board that quite a few of the members are taking antidepressants due to the ridiculous stress factors that we with difficult child's have to endure.

    My biggest issue is that I clear up one issue and another school starts "acting out". Quite frankly, I don't know how I did this with a full time job in the past. AND I'm sick of doing other peoples jobs for them (therapists, teachers, administrators, other parents - you wouldn't believe the phone call I get!) without a paycheck!

    I keep doing it without pay because I'm getting a mansion with a full staff once I hit heaven!!!

    Gotta go, the phone is ringing and I'm cringing!

    Welcome again, it's a good crowd here. We laugh, we cry and we help each other through the daily grind!

  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Welcome to our little corner of the world.

    You found a safe, soft place to land. Pull up a chair, have a cup of coffee, and feel free to share, listen, laugh, and cry with us.

    We understand.
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Welcome! I'm glad you found us.

    Your difficult child has a lot of dxes and is taking a lot of medications for a little guy. Has he ever had a multidisciplinary or neuropsychological evaluation at a children's or university teaching hospital to figure out exactly what's going on? Only with a proper diagnosis will you be able to put the proper interventions into place to help him.

    Is he better, worse or about the same since starting Ritalin and Prozac? Some kids with undiagnosed mood disorders (which can include all the dxes your difficult child has) actually do worse on stimulants like Ritalin and antidepressants like Prozac and do better on mood stabilizers. My son's diagnosis at one time was ADHD, anxiety and depression when in actuality he has a mood disorder. Now that we're treating him for that alone, he's doing a whole lot better. I'm not saying that's what's going on with your difficult child, but it's something you need to consider.

    Again, welcome. You will find a lot of support here.
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome of the site!

    I'm glad you found us. You will find some great words from other warrior parents. We understand each other.

    You are definately carrying a full load with school and raising a difficult child. I will echo reading The Explosive Child. It's a staple around here.

    I will also second Linda's suggestion that you carve out a little time to yourself for the day. It is really important for us to focus a little energy on ourselves since so much is expended on our difficult children.

    Glad to have you here.

  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there :) Sounds like you haven't seen anyone who can nail down the problems with your son. I 100% agree with getting a new evaluation and I recommend a neuropsychologist. Throwing medications at this poor kid when nobody is really sure what's wrong in my opinion can do more harm than good. My son was misdiagnosed/complicated. A neuropsychologist figured it out because they test for hours and hours and really do a lot of observation too. I have had very poor luck with therapists who aren't neuropsychs and even our Psychiatrist missed the problem with our son. They just don't do long enough, intensive enough evaluations, but seem to see the child for an hour or two without any testing and pull medications out of the air. I know my son was on many many medications and I wish I could take it all back. NeuroPsychs can be found at children's and university hosptials. Welcome aboard :)