new bedraggled member

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by BeyondWeary, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. BeyondWeary

    BeyondWeary New Member

    hi all - just came back from another family/therapist meeting at the adolescent Residential Treatment Center (RTC) where my 13 yr old son has been for 1 month. My boy has some sensory integration difficulty, but his major difficulty is R A G E - full blown out-of-control hitting, yelling, breaking things... He escallates worse than the average person and stays angry longer. Since he turned 13, he has become the "800 pound gorilla in the living room", refusing disclipline, punishment, guidance, and the word "no".

    He began the hitting when we brought our second son home from the hospital. I have taken the 13 yr old to 5 prior therapists and 2 prior psychiatrists. The last psyc had him so doped that he could hardly do any school work.

    Needless to say, when they are both together, it is double trouble. The youngest has ADHD symptoms, but does not respond to the latest medication. The 13 yr. old has ADD symptoms, but does not respond to the medication either. They need LOTS of structure and supervision. They are very draining and most of the time, I feel like I live in a surreal world, especially since admitting my 13 yr. old to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    During the meeting last week, my son finally showed the counselor his
    R A G E and hit the wall with his fist several times as well as yelled and cursed at me. She finally got to see it! Ha! I told her so.

    I have no true friends anymore - the boys take too much emotional strength out of me. The oldest is an embaressment and it hurts to even talk about him anymore to anyone. I don't even know what to say except "he is in a Special Education school".

    I started home-schooling when their private Christian school "fell apart" in Dec. '08. It started out fine, but whew, now it is difficult.

    I could use some friends here!!!! I knew I was not alone, and did a search on the old 'net to find this site. My husband thinks we should take him to an excorcist or a hypnotist - really -. I just don't know anymore. I have prayed to no avail. I am not really hopeful about the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but I will give it a chance.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hi, and welcome!

    The fact that neither of your sons responds to ADHD medications tells me, in my limited experience, that they are probably dealing with something more than just ADHD. That's the simple answer to what's obviously a very complex situation.

    FWIW, my middle child (difficult child 2) started out looking like a typical ADHD kid but over time the stimulant medications no longer worked for him and actually made things worse. In his case, the diagnosis is bipolar disorder. He also has ADHD, but those symptoms are much improved (not gone, mind you) since getting the bipolar under control. And his father used to have pretty significant anger and rage issues, however we now believe it was really a mood disorder that went undiagnosed his whole life. He's doing much better on medications that were actually prescribed for seizures but had the added benefit of stabilizing his mood.

    There are other psychiatric and neurodevelopmental disorders that can manifest with similar symptoms. The key is to have a comprehensive evaluation done for your son(s) in order to tease out exactly what the root of the major issues is. That can be with an experienced pediatric and adolescent psychiatrist, a neuropsychologist, a neurodevelopmental pediatrician or another provider that specializes in diagnosing kids with issues like yours.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome. Sorry you had to be here.

    I would strongly recommend a neuropsychologist evaluation for both boys. I am a layperson, but I believe your son, maybe both, have a lot more going on than ADHD. I feel the oldest is way too symptomatic to be dealing with something just that simple. That the medications don't help just makes me doubt it even more. Perhaps he has high functioning autism/Aspergers (very hard for a regular professional to see) or a mood disorder or both. I would want to revisit a professional, and many of us feel Neuropsychs are the best diagnosticians. What type of doctor diagnosed your boys? Even psychiatrists often miss Aspergers, which can cause intense frustration and much raging unless there are the proper interventions. How do your boys socialize with their same age peers? Is bipolar or a mood disorder of any kind on either side of their family tree? That rage in my opinion is not caused by ADHD. Good luck!
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hello and Welcome!

    I often feel a bit "bedraggled" myself. You are not alone...I too, find it very hard to maintain friendships with all the stuff that goes on my home. Many people just don't have any idea what we live with every day. It is very trying...

  5. BeyondWeary

    BeyondWeary New Member

    Thank you all for responding - I can look into the neuropsychologist - I did take my oldest to one when he was 5 for biofeedback (brainwave training). It was very trial and error, but eventually it worked. It was very expensive. I don't have the funds now. Perhaps now his problems will be easier to diagnose since he is out of the 5 yr. old stage where one can blame alot on childishness/immaturity.