New desperate mom

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by KarenB, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. KarenB

    KarenB New Member

    I'm new here. My son is 12 and has been diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, and depression. He has been in therapy since he was 8 old, well until last year when I started school full time. We didn't see any improvement at all. He is going into the 8th grade and barely made it through 7th. Of course he has numerous behavioral problems. He is on medications, and it seems every day brings something new to manage. He has been stealing, lying, blatantly disobeying us for so long, I can't remember when it started. I'm pregnant and at my wits end with him. There are days when I feel like I just can't do this one more day. I don't know what else to do to help him. I found an at home program when I was honestly looking for a boot camp to send him to. I'm willing to give it a try, but it costs a lot of money. With a baby on the way we were trying to budget it in, and then an angel reached out to help. A stranger saw a post on another board and offered to help. She led me here, and is sending the money for the program. I simple couldn't believe it! She said I will find wonderful support here, and very smart people with a wealth of information to help us. I feel my prayers have been answered. Thank you, and I hope I will be able to support you as much as I feel the support here among you.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Karen, welcome! I'm glad you found us. You will find a lot of support here.

    Sorry, gotta ask some questions because your answers will help us point you in the right direction.
    What kind of doctor diagnosed your son? What kind of doctor is treating him?
    When was his last evaluation? Has he ever undergone a neuropsychological evaluation?
    What medications/doses is he taking? Have the medications made things better or worse?
    Does he have an IEP at school?
    Any mental health issues or substance abuse in the family tree?

    Again, welcome.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome to the board Karen! :biggrin:

    Sounds like sw covered most of the bases. I just wanted to jump in and say hello.

    Glad you found us.

  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Welcome KarenB! Glad you found us!

    That certainly is an angel you found! I think you will find alot of support here. Even through your heartache at sending your difficult child out of the home for a bit. It will be harder than you can imagine.
  5. KarenB

    KarenB New Member

    Thanks for the nice replies. He is seeing a psychiatrist that specializes in treating children. He's currently taking Concerta 2/36mg per day, Zoloft 50mg per day, and he also takes Metadote CP 10mg during the school year. He sees her every 3months now. He doesn't have an IEP, but she's suggesting that he be tested for Learning Disability (LD)'s. Hes done great in school until last year academic wise, not behaviorly. I don't know about neuropsychologist evaluation. Should I request it? I wouldn't say the medications make it worse, there just doesn't seem to be much improvement. He has the doctor totally snowed over. She points the finger at my and my husband a lot. His father and I both have a history of substance abuse and psychiatric issues in our families. I think I answered everything. Thank you very much for the kind words!!
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    If it were me, I'd be trying to get him the IEP. It can certainly help with the schools. He doesn't need a Learning Disability (LD) to qualify for an IEP. His dxes should be enough to qualify for one. You may want to check over in the Special Education forum. They can help guide you.

    If you have psychiatric issues, it might not be a bad idea to ask for the neuropsychologist evaluation. It's a long evaluation that test for many things including some LDs I think. (at least Nichole's did) It can't hurt and it may wind up being a huge help to you and difficult child.

  7. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    IEP. Lots to learn in that area. From my first IEP (last year) to the most recent (last week) It was a whole different experience. I am happy with the results and believe difficult child will benefit next year with this.
    Request psychological testing. It will tell you a lot about your difficult child.
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Welcome! :flower: Sorry I don't have much to offer this morning - just wanted to say hello.
  9. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Welcome to the board! I'm sorry for your need to find us, but so glad you did! It truly is a "soft place to land!"

    How generous of that stranger to pay for the program for your child. Amazing that there are such good people still in this world. It gives me hope to hear such wonderful stories. I hope the program helps your son.
  10. oceans

    oceans New Member

    I would say to request that the school evaluate, and work towards getting an IEP. It sounds like he needs a behavior plan in place. I think that getting a new evaluation is always a positive way to gain more information, especially if the medications are not helping. My son was not helped for years and years. We kept moving to new psychiatrists and getting evaluations and trialing medications. We finally have him on medications that are working for the first time ever, and his behavior has improved along with his mood and stability. I am wishing you lots of luck!
  11. KarenB

    KarenB New Member

    Thanks so much everyone!! I will do everything to get the IEP. Do I need to do this during the Summer? Do I get the evaluation through the school or through his Psychiatrist? I'll check out that forum for sure. Boy, I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your help. I'm so glad I was led here!!
  12. oceans

    oceans New Member

    If school is out, I think you will need to wait until the beginning of the new school year. Send a certified letter to the school asking for an evaluation to get the process started. If you don't like their evaluation, you can always request that they pay for an outside evaluation.
  13. KarenB

    KarenB New Member

    Thank you! Also, who will I put ATT: to on the certified letter? Would that be guidance?
  14. oceans

    oceans New Member

    In our school it was the principal that needed to get the letter.
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi, Karen. I'm kind of on the fly right now and didn't get to read all the responses, but you say there are psychiatric problems in the family. Is there a chance that he has inherited a mood disorder, like bipolar? I ask because stimulants and ad's wouldn't help him if he has that. I think a fresh opinion and a neuropsychologist exam might help you. My own son was hard to diagnose because he's adopted and we had no family history. Look at your history. It tells you a lot. in my opinion anything like a boot camp won't help a child who has an unstable psychiatric/neurological problem. I'll drop back later to see if you get more responses. I'm going to leave a few links for you to read. I would not trust anyone in a school district to make a diagnosis--in my opinion, go private, where they aren't tied to the SD. Take care.
  16. KarenB

    KarenB New Member

    There's no history if a mood disorder that I'm aware of, but I agree that something else needs to happen with him. He has been with this doctor for three years, and it seems like not much progress has been made, if any. In fact, his grades have dropped in the last two years. Thank you for the links! I will check them out.