New diagnosis for M

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by witzend, Apr 28, 2011.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I spoke with M yesterday. The job he thought that he was going to get back at the community college has not come through "yet". This is the one where he saw his boss' boss and she said he should come back to work even though is boss didn't like him and fired him. He says it must be because boss' boss is "notoriously flaky". Yep - that must be it... He says that he has been working setting up estate sales for someone, and that they are going to put him on the cash register this weekend. I hope that will go well.

    He says he has a girlfriend. She is a Freshman at the local University, speaks Mandarin, plays violin, just got an A on some big paper. In other words, much younger than he, dedicated to making a better life for herself, hard worker. I'd like to think that some of it will rub off, but that seems unlikely. He says that my father is not happy with him because he hasn't been coming home at night. Hmm.... How do you explain "Mortal Sin" to someone who doesn't really believe in anything? I told him that my dad wouldn't tolerate it, that he wouldn't tell him to move out right away but that he would make M's life a living hell if he kept it up.

    He has been going to Mass with them, but dislikes it. He skipped out on church Easter Sunday saying that he had to work, but that seems odd. I think he wants me to "be on his side" against my parents. Not going to happen. This is amongst them and has nothing to do with me.

    M told me that he has been back in therapy and is back on Celexa. He said that his new diagnosis is Borderline (BPD), and that he has been prescribed a mood stabilizer. He didn't say which one, and he didn't say whether he was taking it. He said he thought it explained some things, and I told him that if he took his medications and participated in therapy he should be alright but he needed to realize that it wasn't something he could do only when he felt like it, he would always need it.

    Then he told me he has a Mohawk. I said "Grandpa must really like that." He said "They just don't get crazy kids these days, but they accept it." (He really doesn't know my dad or my mom.) Then he said "Well, he can't really complain about anything now that I have a job." I said "He can complain that you don't save up your money and get your own place to live." I cut it off at that point. It was more than I need to know or contribute.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Very interesting! Sounds like you responded just perfectly. on the other hand, I can just imagine what the girls's parents are thinking.
    "WHAT?? Our talented smart daughter is with an underemployed older guy with a MOHAWK!!" Have to feel them. Geez. DDD
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911


    When I grow up? I want to be you. Or D3 - I swear. lol. May the force of the Mohawk be with him. 'Cause I'm sure THAT look going in and out of your Dad's house is just the ticket to keep a room at the inn.

  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Hmm sounds like someone is in for a stiff lesson or 3. lol

    I'm sure grandpa and grandma are just thrilled with his new do. ugh

    I'd have asked him if they did it the right know, shaved his head bald except for the Mohawk part. Cuz I mean, if you're gonna have it done, it might as well be done right. :bag:

    Maybe the girls easy child attitudes will rub off.

  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    He sent me a photo of himself. His hair was already 1/4 inch long (short), so it's not much of a 'hawk. I think he looks UGLY - but I texted back "cool", and left it at that.
  6. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Borderline (BPD) therapy takes a lot of work. I hope he's willing to do what it takes.
  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Heather. Me too...