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New Drama On Homeless Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 695582" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>While we have all been there, she us in her 40s and Mom can't be young anymore either.</p><p></p><p>Some times one has to move to get help. The St. Louis are has plenty of help. I am against helping kids of a certain age or else they will be helpless when we are gone. Giving a hand up to a 21 year old is possibly helpful. Except for our own guilt, as the mom of a troubled 38 year old, I think it is different to co sugn and pay bills for somebody in this age bracket. By then it is no longer a hand up. It becomes a way of life for both and often financially hurts the parent who is retired.</p><p></p><p>Of course some parents live with, support and put up with dysfunctional middle age adult children to their dying day. I try to speak from my heart. I think there comes a time when we need to have sane golden years and let middle age children figure it out or not.</p><p></p><p>We all give our best advice. None is perfect. A 43 year old is not a young adult failing to launch. It is an adult who expects others to support him or her forever.</p><p></p><p>To me they are two different types of adult children. Many launch late. But some never launch. Are we as parents responsible forever?</p><p></p><p>I strongly believe that we need to let our adult child 30 and up find their own services, even of its inconvenient and they have to move, request financial help or rent a room in someone's house. I feel it is harmful for them and for us to keep caring for an adult child who is already 40 something and refuses to do things right.</p><p></p><p>I do totally believe that everyone here should take what they like and leave the rest. I can not say what I don't believe. If this woman is disabled..file for Disability. Other services go with that.</p><p></p><p> This is all just my opinion. I do think age matters. If the original poster disagrees with me, she can just disregard my post...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 695582, member: 1550"] While we have all been there, she us in her 40s and Mom can't be young anymore either. Some times one has to move to get help. The St. Louis are has plenty of help. I am against helping kids of a certain age or else they will be helpless when we are gone. Giving a hand up to a 21 year old is possibly helpful. Except for our own guilt, as the mom of a troubled 38 year old, I think it is different to co sugn and pay bills for somebody in this age bracket. By then it is no longer a hand up. It becomes a way of life for both and often financially hurts the parent who is retired. Of course some parents live with, support and put up with dysfunctional middle age adult children to their dying day. I try to speak from my heart. I think there comes a time when we need to have sane golden years and let middle age children figure it out or not. We all give our best advice. None is perfect. A 43 year old is not a young adult failing to launch. It is an adult who expects others to support him or her forever. To me they are two different types of adult children. Many launch late. But some never launch. Are we as parents responsible forever? I strongly believe that we need to let our adult child 30 and up find their own services, even of its inconvenient and they have to move, request financial help or rent a room in someone's house. I feel it is harmful for them and for us to keep caring for an adult child who is already 40 something and refuses to do things right. I do totally believe that everyone here should take what they like and leave the rest. I can not say what I don't believe. If this woman is disabled..file for Disability. Other services go with that. This is all just my opinion. I do think age matters. If the original poster disagrees with me, she can just disregard my post... [/QUOTE]
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