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New Drama On Homeless Daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Weary Mother" data-source="post: 695774" data-attributes="member: 20487"><p>Hello Everyone, today I feel better and stronger and am re reading all your posts. I am reminded again how strong the bond of love is and how difficult it can be to detach, with love. My daughters van is fixed and waiting to be picked up, so she now has a decent job even tho the pay is low, and an apartment and a running vehicle. I do have compassion for her being in a city with no known support system, no friends and no furniture. I do know that this is not the end of the world and she will survive it and as someone said in a post, they are able to find options when they have to, so I am banking on the fact that she may do better then I think. When the most recent crisis occurred that caused her to be actually on the streets, it was due to a blowup between her and her 27 year old daughter. They have had a terrible co dependent relationship for years and it was coming I could see it. Both of them have issues and just kept feeding off of each other, neither able to be mature and handle matters in a good way and neither seeking out help. As a result of this recent blowup, my daughter has lost contact with her grandchildren which has devastated her and is part of her anxiety and depression among other reasons. I feel badly that my entire family has come to this and hope that things get better. I agree with somewhereoutthere who posted "if she wants to really change in my opinion she can do it without her mothers help and money and prove it. Finding her own solutions shows progress, not a letter or text. Especially when someone her age has been dependent all her life. I'm cynical too." But I panic when I see things get worse and personally and for personal reasons, have problems of my own just cutting off all help. My reasons are and I know I have to work on this, but my father died in the streets of Phoenix, and had family who could have helped him. My oldest son died in a truck accident at age 25. I have a deadly fear of losing another child in such a terrible way or cutting off all communication because I can't bear the pain again. But I do know this is my issue to work on, the fear I feel is not totally reasonable, and detaching is not certain to end up with the death of a loved one. (my 2nd child a son is in jail to be sentenced tomorrow on a 2nd drug offense). So keep on posting, I am reading and trying to get through all this pain. </p><p></p><p>Read more: <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/new-drama-on-homeless-daughter.62574/#ixzz4FcNcI79x" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/new-drama-on-homeless-daughter.62574/#ixzz4FcNcI79x</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Weary Mother, post: 695774, member: 20487"] Hello Everyone, today I feel better and stronger and am re reading all your posts. I am reminded again how strong the bond of love is and how difficult it can be to detach, with love. My daughters van is fixed and waiting to be picked up, so she now has a decent job even tho the pay is low, and an apartment and a running vehicle. I do have compassion for her being in a city with no known support system, no friends and no furniture. I do know that this is not the end of the world and she will survive it and as someone said in a post, they are able to find options when they have to, so I am banking on the fact that she may do better then I think. When the most recent crisis occurred that caused her to be actually on the streets, it was due to a blowup between her and her 27 year old daughter. They have had a terrible co dependent relationship for years and it was coming I could see it. Both of them have issues and just kept feeding off of each other, neither able to be mature and handle matters in a good way and neither seeking out help. As a result of this recent blowup, my daughter has lost contact with her grandchildren which has devastated her and is part of her anxiety and depression among other reasons. I feel badly that my entire family has come to this and hope that things get better. I agree with somewhereoutthere who posted "if she wants to really change in my opinion she can do it without her mothers help and money and prove it. Finding her own solutions shows progress, not a letter or text. Especially when someone her age has been dependent all her life. I'm cynical too." But I panic when I see things get worse and personally and for personal reasons, have problems of my own just cutting off all help. My reasons are and I know I have to work on this, but my father died in the streets of Phoenix, and had family who could have helped him. My oldest son died in a truck accident at age 25. I have a deadly fear of losing another child in such a terrible way or cutting off all communication because I can't bear the pain again. But I do know this is my issue to work on, the fear I feel is not totally reasonable, and detaching is not certain to end up with the death of a loved one. (my 2nd child a son is in jail to be sentenced tomorrow on a 2nd drug offense). So keep on posting, I am reading and trying to get through all this pain. Read more: [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/new-drama-on-homeless-daughter.62574/#ixzz4FcNcI79x[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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