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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 680682" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think that there is rightly a feeling that if we dont enable bad choices such as substance abuse this is better for the adult child. I desperately agree.</p><p>On the other hand I hsve a son on the autism spectrum who is clean and sober and works very hard but can not be 100 percent on his own. He cant always make decisions on his own. Not he wont. He cant. If he had been throen out for not being able to say support himself completrly, I shudder to think about it his different way of thinking would have made that impossible.</p><p>The same dynamic goes for schizophrenics who are psychotic or those who have very low iqs. They do need help and may be unable or unwillingly to live at home but tough love wont help them. Ditto for brain damage.</p><p>Not all adult children who behave badly can learn to do better. Some cant. So other solutions rather than tough love are better options.</p><p>I think this may be where the need is. One size doesnt fit all. A drug addict and a schizophrenic are apples and oranges. Just one example.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 680682, member: 1550"] I think that there is rightly a feeling that if we dont enable bad choices such as substance abuse this is better for the adult child. I desperately agree. On the other hand I hsve a son on the autism spectrum who is clean and sober and works very hard but can not be 100 percent on his own. He cant always make decisions on his own. Not he wont. He cant. If he had been throen out for not being able to say support himself completrly, I shudder to think about it his different way of thinking would have made that impossible. The same dynamic goes for schizophrenics who are psychotic or those who have very low iqs. They do need help and may be unable or unwillingly to live at home but tough love wont help them. Ditto for brain damage. Not all adult children who behave badly can learn to do better. Some cant. So other solutions rather than tough love are better options. I think this may be where the need is. One size doesnt fit all. A drug addict and a schizophrenic are apples and oranges. Just one example. [/QUOTE]
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