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New here...5 year old son with possible ODD?
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 62080"><p>Sounds oh so familiar. "strong willed" That's what we were told way back when he was under 2 years old. Although my difficult child isn't violent, he just wouldn't play with others if they didn't do things his way. His rules, his game. Many other parents wouldn't let their child play with mine. School as always been an issue. First grade had to transfer him to a more "challenging" first grade. Second grade the school tested him and he was advanced to third grade, hoping to be more challenged and less trouble. Found out that other parents requested he not be in their childs class. Fourth grade was his best year. After battling with the teacher we decided to transfer him to the class with the teacher who had the meanest, strictist reputation. He cried, said he wouldn't go. Turned out to be the best thing we ever did. He would purposely get himself in trouble so he could have "isolation" with this teacher. Field trips, he wanted her for a partner. She was strict with everyone. No favorites. He did the best when he had strict guidelines to follow with no exceptions. Unfortunately, it is hard to do that at home. Has the way of "sucking up" and making you feel sorry for him. Middle school has been a disaster. Although he is gifted, we were given the option of expulsion or special education half way through the first year. He was failing, even though he would score advanced on all state testing. That is when we started the IEP. It took many IEP's for me to realize exactly what I could ask for, what our rights were, what difficult child's rights were as well as the school. The school tried to tell us otherwise so be sure to educate yourself on Special Education laws, and get what works best for your child. difficult child is in a regular classroom, just has some accomadations others don't. Example: If he feels he is going to blow up, get angry he has the option for a pass to go speak to the Special Education. teacher or social worker prior to a blow up. That worked for a while until he started using that to get out of class. He is a young Middle schooler because he skipped a grade. If we had to do it over we would not advance him. At this grade level maturity has everything to do with his social skills and others in his grade will simply not put up with him. Therefore, leaving him friendless. It is his own actions that get him there, but uncontrollable actions. We started taking him to a psychologist when he was 2. Didn't work. Psychiatrist when he was in fifth grade and has been on medication since. Definately needs the medications. Still a challenge both at home and school, but not nearly as much. ODD was the diagnosis when he was 2. No ADHD. Bipolar not otherwise specified, added in middle school. Very much anxiety and some depression. It is frustrating when your child rules your house and you are walking on egg shells afraid of setting him off. difficult child still manipulates us, but we are getting so much better at it. Wish we would of had the testing and such much earlier. There are ups and downs throughout the school year. I feel we have a great IEP in place for 8th grade, and a teacher asked for him. Said he was a "great kid". That has never happened. Quite the opposite. He is very athletic and very good at sports, but always an issue because of the rules he must follow. Soccer he had great coaches and worked with him. Quit all other sports except baseball. He loves baseball. Found out on his own if he tells the umpire what's on his mind..he gets thrown out of the game and suspended for a few games. That happened only one time. Still throws his helmet or bat or just acts so embarrassing, but has a good coach who just ignores his behavior. The more they try to talk to him, the worse he gets. So..they just leave him alone to sulk.</p><p>Hope you start the intervention now. The earlier the better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 62080"] Sounds oh so familiar. "strong willed" That's what we were told way back when he was under 2 years old. Although my difficult child isn't violent, he just wouldn't play with others if they didn't do things his way. His rules, his game. Many other parents wouldn't let their child play with mine. School as always been an issue. First grade had to transfer him to a more "challenging" first grade. Second grade the school tested him and he was advanced to third grade, hoping to be more challenged and less trouble. Found out that other parents requested he not be in their childs class. Fourth grade was his best year. After battling with the teacher we decided to transfer him to the class with the teacher who had the meanest, strictist reputation. He cried, said he wouldn't go. Turned out to be the best thing we ever did. He would purposely get himself in trouble so he could have "isolation" with this teacher. Field trips, he wanted her for a partner. She was strict with everyone. No favorites. He did the best when he had strict guidelines to follow with no exceptions. Unfortunately, it is hard to do that at home. Has the way of "sucking up" and making you feel sorry for him. Middle school has been a disaster. Although he is gifted, we were given the option of expulsion or special education half way through the first year. He was failing, even though he would score advanced on all state testing. That is when we started the IEP. It took many IEP's for me to realize exactly what I could ask for, what our rights were, what difficult child's rights were as well as the school. The school tried to tell us otherwise so be sure to educate yourself on Special Education laws, and get what works best for your child. difficult child is in a regular classroom, just has some accomadations others don't. Example: If he feels he is going to blow up, get angry he has the option for a pass to go speak to the Special Education. teacher or social worker prior to a blow up. That worked for a while until he started using that to get out of class. He is a young Middle schooler because he skipped a grade. If we had to do it over we would not advance him. At this grade level maturity has everything to do with his social skills and others in his grade will simply not put up with him. Therefore, leaving him friendless. It is his own actions that get him there, but uncontrollable actions. We started taking him to a psychologist when he was 2. Didn't work. Psychiatrist when he was in fifth grade and has been on medication since. Definately needs the medications. Still a challenge both at home and school, but not nearly as much. ODD was the diagnosis when he was 2. No ADHD. Bipolar not otherwise specified, added in middle school. Very much anxiety and some depression. It is frustrating when your child rules your house and you are walking on egg shells afraid of setting him off. difficult child still manipulates us, but we are getting so much better at it. Wish we would of had the testing and such much earlier. There are ups and downs throughout the school year. I feel we have a great IEP in place for 8th grade, and a teacher asked for him. Said he was a "great kid". That has never happened. Quite the opposite. He is very athletic and very good at sports, but always an issue because of the rules he must follow. Soccer he had great coaches and worked with him. Quit all other sports except baseball. He loves baseball. Found out on his own if he tells the umpire what's on his mind..he gets thrown out of the game and suspended for a few games. That happened only one time. Still throws his helmet or bat or just acts so embarrassing, but has a good coach who just ignores his behavior. The more they try to talk to him, the worse he gets. So..they just leave him alone to sulk. Hope you start the intervention now. The earlier the better. [/QUOTE]
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