Hello everyone. This is my first post here. A little background: I have 4 childern ages 12-2. My middle childern both have been diagnosis with ADHD and difficult child 1 (N) displays ODD and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) tendencies. Starting in 2006 we have had several verbal and physical outburst/meltdowns. The earliest I remember is her getting upset I didn't give her a hug goodbye when I dropped her off at daycare. She kicked on male staff between the legs and choked another female staff. She luckily was only suspended for one day she had another outburst at a new daycare center a year later around the time I started dating my SO. Things calmed down for awhile until early 2008. Her bio-dad was getting divorced and the kids were taking it pretty hard as they had grown close to his wife. I sought counseling for them. And it came out that my exhuaband (bio dad) had touched her. Police were notified and he was investigated but not enough evidence was found. I was unable to continue counseling due to insurance/financial reasons. Since then she typically has major meltdowns every 2-3 month complete with verbal and physical aggressions and they last anywhere from 1 hour or till shes so physically exhausted that she falls asleep. We constantly have to remind her to sit in an appropriate manner, not with her butt out, slouched down, or her feet up in the air. She is completely possessive over the tv and Legos/ blocks. I can't speak of Ny possible plans because she (and my GFG6 year old) automatically thinks its a done deal She had never done any physical damage to the house until last week. On Thursday I found N and E under a blanket kissing, twice. I broke it up both times but didn't say anything as I neede some time to think about how to approach it. I asked E about it the next day and she admitted to what happened. I explained it was inappropriate and should never be done again. I confronted N and she refused to tell the truth and acted as if nothing was wrong. After several attempts I told her she would not be able to join us outside for the day. Immediate meltdown. I lied to her, I hate her, she never gets anything she wants ect. I let her stay in the house to cool down and came back in 45 minutes later to a huge mess. She had flooded the kitchen floor with water, taken a new pad of post-it notes and had tore each sheet off and placed it in the water. Then she took her sister deodorant, smeared it all over the bathroom door and mirror and stuck hair clips in it. While she cleaned up I tried calling the RCT to see if they had an empty bed but was directed to call her regular dr. Called her peds RN who directed me to take her to the er. 3 hours at the er led to eexomendatuon that she gets counseling. Really?!? They weren't concerned what so ever that she self harms ( cuts the fleshy part of her toes and foot with nail clippers and sticks needles/pins into her skin). After several phone calls and transfers today I have gotten her into a peds dr tomorrow And an in-take appr for a trams therapy group next week. I don't know what peds is gonna say tomorrow but I'm sure they will do squat as I have asked for recommendations to psychiatric desks and been denied. How do I push for a neuro exam or a more throughough psychiatric evaluation??? I am at my wits end with her! Any advice is greatly appraciated.