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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 631172" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Welcome Tree. Have you had a chance to think about the responses? I'm curious if you are able to move forward or still feel stuck. </p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, on the sharing front...</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Wait, are you writing about my difficult child or yours? This is exactly what mine does. so many cheerful calls starting with "good news, mom! I got a job" (this usually means he got an interview and expects to get the job, or he went to an interview and they told him they would call him....sigh)'</p><p></p><p>Followed by an admission to a psychiatric ward a few days later. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Shelters are yucky. My difficult child won't go either. But that is his choice. There is a place with a bed for him, he knows it, your difficult child knows it, and that is the end of our role here. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Good list! You can rest easy that YOU HAVE DONE ALL YOU CAN OR SHOULD AND NOW IT IS TIME TO STOP! It is right there in black and white. You are spending way more effort and anxiety on his life than he is...that is a red flag of dysfunction. Stop now. You putting more effort in will not change things. Only difficult child putting effort in will change things now.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Exactly. What MWM said. They make us sad by calling and complaining about their bad lives, cause life IS hard living on the street. It is. But look back at all you offered him...he clearly likes SOMETHING about his life, because that is truly the only reason people do things..because they get something out of it. He is choosing this. If you work so hard to try to protect him from his choices, he'll never get to the point of understanding that his life will only change if he works at it.</p><p></p><p>Let him be an adult now. Let him learn. It is a long hard process for those of us on the sidelines (and yes parents are on the sidelines of adult children, easy child or difficult child). It is his life now.</p><p></p><p>Good lucky, Mom. It is so hard. But we are here to listen and support.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 631172, member: 17269"] Welcome Tree. Have you had a chance to think about the responses? I'm curious if you are able to move forward or still feel stuck. Meanwhile, on the sharing front... Wait, are you writing about my difficult child or yours? This is exactly what mine does. so many cheerful calls starting with "good news, mom! I got a job" (this usually means he got an interview and expects to get the job, or he went to an interview and they told him they would call him....sigh)' Followed by an admission to a psychiatric ward a few days later. Shelters are yucky. My difficult child won't go either. But that is his choice. There is a place with a bed for him, he knows it, your difficult child knows it, and that is the end of our role here. Good list! You can rest easy that YOU HAVE DONE ALL YOU CAN OR SHOULD AND NOW IT IS TIME TO STOP! It is right there in black and white. You are spending way more effort and anxiety on his life than he is...that is a red flag of dysfunction. Stop now. You putting more effort in will not change things. Only difficult child putting effort in will change things now. Exactly. What MWM said. They make us sad by calling and complaining about their bad lives, cause life IS hard living on the street. It is. But look back at all you offered him...he clearly likes SOMETHING about his life, because that is truly the only reason people do things..because they get something out of it. He is choosing this. If you work so hard to try to protect him from his choices, he'll never get to the point of understanding that his life will only change if he works at it. Let him be an adult now. Let him learn. It is a long hard process for those of us on the sidelines (and yes parents are on the sidelines of adult children, easy child or difficult child). It is his life now. Good lucky, Mom. It is so hard. But we are here to listen and support. Echo [/QUOTE]
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