New here and in distress

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by cupcakes, Jan 12, 2009.

  1. cupcakes

    cupcakes New Member

    My son is 13, an 8th grader at a new school due to moving. He just got an IEP for ADHD. He also has ODD. He got in 2 fights at school and was charged for both of them. We have gone to court and he is under house arrest and has beeen expelled from school. I am at such a loss, I do not know what to do. I cannot even find the words. I now have to find a new school for him, I don't even know how. I feel helpless as to what to do and I probably am not making any logical sense but I thought maybe it would help to write it down and maybe someone would say something that would help me.
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    The first thing that strikes me about your post is the fact that you have just moved and that your son just got an IEP. Was he having trouble at his previous school? Or is the fighting and other troubles new/since the move..?
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hi and welcome!!

    Did you have a manifestation hearing after the fight to determine if it had anything to due with him being adhd?

    Are you comfortable with his diagnosis? It's a very common diagnosis and sometimes the professional who gave it is mistaken. Did he ever receive complete neuropsychological testing- other than the school giving their typical adhd evaluation? I ask because many times, what appears to be adhd is really more of a symptom of other issues. So, if you can get better or different feedback for some of these questions, it might give you a way to fight the expulsion.
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator


    I would also add to the questions above: Is he taking any medications? If so, what and at what dose? And are the medications making things better, worse or about the same?

    Hang in there. You're not alone here. Many of us have traveled similar journeys.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. I had a difficult child who started having drug problems at age 12 (yes, 12). That's one thing you may look into. I have a few questions to help us help you.

    1/Who has evaluated him? Has he ever been to a neuropsychologist? (They are wonderful and very intensive evaluations).

    2/Any psychiatric problems or substance abuse on either side of the family tree? Any mood disorders?

    3/How are his social skills? Is he socially aware or socially clueless? How about his life skills? How was his early development, such as speech, eye contact, imaginative play, and cuddling. How long has he had problems? What sort of things rile him up and how long has he been like this? Any medications?

    There is help and hope.
  6. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    I would certainly ask for a manifestation hearing, bring an advocate to that meeting, and see if you can get him evaluation'd. The school should do a FBA (functional behavior analysis) and incorporate a BIP (behavioral intervention plan) if the fights were due to his "disability".

    ((HUGS)) you're not alone. My 11 yr old difficult child is on probation after being charged with- aggravated battery.