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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 63984" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I agree, definitely follow through and query a number of things here. That obsession with time - out of curiosity, what sort of display do you have on your microwave oven? What timer do you use when cooking? And does he, or has he ever, been found standing there watching it count down, or simply flash up the numbers?</p><p></p><p>Are there any other situations where he seems to have his attention caught by letter or number displays? Anything else that holds his attention so thoroughly that you have difficulty pulling him away from it?</p><p></p><p>He's doing well academically - that's really good news, but is also found in a number of 'disorders' already described. I put quote marks around that because to a certain extent, it is a matter of attitude. We had a TV program on last night, dealing with ADHD. At one point one of the experts described ADHD as a learning disability which really made easy child 2/difficult child 2 angry. "I don't consider myself disabled," she said.</p><p>"Nevertheless you are," husband replied. "The college system and the education system in general needs the disability label in order to put in place the support we use. You don't consider it a disability because we've always emphasised the gifts you have; but it has to be taken on balance."</p><p>"That's what I mean!" she said. "Calling it a disability, constantly, is not balanced!"</p><p></p><p>It really does make a difference, how you present it to the child. difficult child 1 came to me yesterday afternoon, told me that at his church, where he takes Sunday School, there is a small boy with a diagnosis of ADHD and whose mother is concerned about the pediatrician they see. He seems a bit strange. difficult child 1 asked who, and it turned out to be difficult child 1's first pediatrician. He IS strange. However, he did give difficult child 1 something important - he validated him. He told him that it is NOT his fault that he has more difficulty concentrating and staying on task in class. And once difficult child 1 realised this, his behaviour actually improved because he realised that he was NOT automatically a naughty child. His anxiety eased somewhat and he coped a little better. He still needed a lot of intervention, but we were able to see the bright, skilled boy underneath it all.</p><p></p><p>Your son sounds as if he has a number of issues, including obsessiveness and anxiety. It also sounds like he's having problems socially, when in larger groups. I do think it would be useful to have Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) considered so it can be assessed and hopefully ruled out, although this is sounding like Asperger's to me. If managed, Asperger's can be turned from a disability to a positive bonus. It depends on the child as well, but once they find the different way in which they learn best, they are off and running, academically. You still need to give them extra support in social situations and that CANNOT learn proper social interaction the way other kids do (by osmosis) but if taught carefully and handled gently (but firmly) they can do amazingly.</p><p></p><p>Something else I'm wondering - does he treat adults and children all the same? No distinction between people? How is he with babies? Does he expect them to be able to talk to him as fluently as he talks to them? There are degrees of this, but if you've noticed ANY of this, then you will almost certainly have to change how you discipline him, because he is modelling behaviour shown to him. For example, a child like this will learn to hit back and punish what he perceives as naughtiness in others, if he is smacked as discipline. If you scold or shout, he will copy this and use it when he perceives he should act the same way (such as when parents misbehave, by not knowing the right time, for example).</p><p></p><p>"The Explosive Child" explains this a bit better.</p><p></p><p>He sounds like a really interesting kid, although quite a handful at the moment and probably an even bigger handful in the past.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 63984, member: 1991"] I agree, definitely follow through and query a number of things here. That obsession with time - out of curiosity, what sort of display do you have on your microwave oven? What timer do you use when cooking? And does he, or has he ever, been found standing there watching it count down, or simply flash up the numbers? Are there any other situations where he seems to have his attention caught by letter or number displays? Anything else that holds his attention so thoroughly that you have difficulty pulling him away from it? He's doing well academically - that's really good news, but is also found in a number of 'disorders' already described. I put quote marks around that because to a certain extent, it is a matter of attitude. We had a TV program on last night, dealing with ADHD. At one point one of the experts described ADHD as a learning disability which really made easy child 2/difficult child 2 angry. "I don't consider myself disabled," she said. "Nevertheless you are," husband replied. "The college system and the education system in general needs the disability label in order to put in place the support we use. You don't consider it a disability because we've always emphasised the gifts you have; but it has to be taken on balance." "That's what I mean!" she said. "Calling it a disability, constantly, is not balanced!" It really does make a difference, how you present it to the child. difficult child 1 came to me yesterday afternoon, told me that at his church, where he takes Sunday School, there is a small boy with a diagnosis of ADHD and whose mother is concerned about the pediatrician they see. He seems a bit strange. difficult child 1 asked who, and it turned out to be difficult child 1's first pediatrician. He IS strange. However, he did give difficult child 1 something important - he validated him. He told him that it is NOT his fault that he has more difficulty concentrating and staying on task in class. And once difficult child 1 realised this, his behaviour actually improved because he realised that he was NOT automatically a naughty child. His anxiety eased somewhat and he coped a little better. He still needed a lot of intervention, but we were able to see the bright, skilled boy underneath it all. Your son sounds as if he has a number of issues, including obsessiveness and anxiety. It also sounds like he's having problems socially, when in larger groups. I do think it would be useful to have Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) considered so it can be assessed and hopefully ruled out, although this is sounding like Asperger's to me. If managed, Asperger's can be turned from a disability to a positive bonus. It depends on the child as well, but once they find the different way in which they learn best, they are off and running, academically. You still need to give them extra support in social situations and that CANNOT learn proper social interaction the way other kids do (by osmosis) but if taught carefully and handled gently (but firmly) they can do amazingly. Something else I'm wondering - does he treat adults and children all the same? No distinction between people? How is he with babies? Does he expect them to be able to talk to him as fluently as he talks to them? There are degrees of this, but if you've noticed ANY of this, then you will almost certainly have to change how you discipline him, because he is modelling behaviour shown to him. For example, a child like this will learn to hit back and punish what he perceives as naughtiness in others, if he is smacked as discipline. If you scold or shout, he will copy this and use it when he perceives he should act the same way (such as when parents misbehave, by not knowing the right time, for example). "The Explosive Child" explains this a bit better. He sounds like a really interesting kid, although quite a handful at the moment and probably an even bigger handful in the past. Keep us posted. Marg [/QUOTE]
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