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General Parenting
New here...and reeling from today's psychiatric visit
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 50189"><p>Welcome to the board. I'm glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>I'm with you and smallworld on the 1-2-3 Magic. It got us nowhere. A lot of psychologists have their preferred list of behavior modifications. Her second psychologist, who was highly respected in our community, would go on exhaustively about the reward chart he preferred (to the point that I would find myself zoning out - the man liked to talk). I did give it a valiant effort. It was a disaster. By that time, difficult child was 8 and I had been dealing with her behavior since infancy - so I had been around the block. Like you, I always just considered difficult child willful and stubborn (which she is, by the way - not a bad thing if it can be redirected) and had been compensating with my parenting. I have certainly never parented my two children in the same way as their needs and abilities have always been vastly different.</p><p></p><p>Ross Greene's approach really puts things into perspective and takes the angst out of deciding which battle to fight. With my difficult child, we only work on one issue at a time. Everything else then pretty much falls into Basket C to some degree and as she masters the issue of the moment, Basket A and Basket C change. We really don't have a Basket B. Her anxiety is such that that is really all she can tolerate at one time.</p><p></p><p>I also agree with smallword that if you just aren't clicking with this psychologist, find another. Give him a chance, but if it's just not working don't waste too much time and energy going down that road. We've been through several - all of them highly qualified, but just not a fit for us - and the one we have now (an MSW) just really gets it. She doesn't have a stock list of behavior mods; she considers the needs and abilities of the individual child. IOW, she realizes there is no one plan out there that works for every child. I got her name from our school guidance counselor. </p><p></p><p>I further agree that a multi-disciplinary approach is wise. That can be done through a children's hospital or university hospital or, as in my case, through a group of professionals in individual practices working together (however, it would probably be more expedient going through the hospitals).</p><p></p><p>I hope you made it through my rambling. :smile: Again, I'm glad you found us. This is a great group of parents here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 50189"] Welcome to the board. I'm glad you found us. I'm with you and smallworld on the 1-2-3 Magic. It got us nowhere. A lot of psychologists have their preferred list of behavior modifications. Her second psychologist, who was highly respected in our community, would go on exhaustively about the reward chart he preferred (to the point that I would find myself zoning out - the man liked to talk). I did give it a valiant effort. It was a disaster. By that time, difficult child was 8 and I had been dealing with her behavior since infancy - so I had been around the block. Like you, I always just considered difficult child willful and stubborn (which she is, by the way - not a bad thing if it can be redirected) and had been compensating with my parenting. I have certainly never parented my two children in the same way as their needs and abilities have always been vastly different. Ross Greene's approach really puts things into perspective and takes the angst out of deciding which battle to fight. With my difficult child, we only work on one issue at a time. Everything else then pretty much falls into Basket C to some degree and as she masters the issue of the moment, Basket A and Basket C change. We really don't have a Basket B. Her anxiety is such that that is really all she can tolerate at one time. I also agree with smallword that if you just aren't clicking with this psychologist, find another. Give him a chance, but if it's just not working don't waste too much time and energy going down that road. We've been through several - all of them highly qualified, but just not a fit for us - and the one we have now (an MSW) just really gets it. She doesn't have a stock list of behavior mods; she considers the needs and abilities of the individual child. IOW, she realizes there is no one plan out there that works for every child. I got her name from our school guidance counselor. I further agree that a multi-disciplinary approach is wise. That can be done through a children's hospital or university hospital or, as in my case, through a group of professionals in individual practices working together (however, it would probably be more expedient going through the hospitals). I hope you made it through my rambling. [img]:smile:[/img] Again, I'm glad you found us. This is a great group of parents here. [/QUOTE]
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New here...and reeling from today's psychiatric visit
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