new here and would love some ODD help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by maisies_mummy, Aug 27, 2007.

  1. maisies_mummy

    maisies_mummy New Member

    Firstly hi to everyone!

    I am new to forums so not sure of all the abbreviations for words lol.

    I am pretty sure my five year old daughter has ODD, things got bad around the age of 3 and have got worse daily. It started with me thinking she was just naughty. She has daily outbursts which involve swearing, attacking me (and other adults) throwing things, trying to smash windows, growling screaming she hates me and basically will do anything she can to annoy me. We have tried all the usual methods of discipline, time out, charts, sending to her room, even smacking and taking away privilages all seem to make her even worse. She is waiting for an appointment to be accessed but have been warned it could take six months.

    Some of my other concerns are that her motor skills are bad, she cant skip, hop or eat without making a big mess, if she spills her drink she will make no effort to pick it up just watch it spill. My biggest concern apart from her aggression is she wets herself daily and has done forever. We did have a month of her being dry about a year ago but not since and no obvious reasons have been found for it. Her hearing is very selective, she can totally ignore you, her mischief has got worse in the last few weeks and more babyish like spreading toothpaste over everything etc.

    She is bright, and at nursery no problems apart from being rude to the teachers. She was never rude to other children. She loved nursery but will often cause a big scene about going and acts like this even if it a day out for her to the farm or theme park etc, yet she will love it once there. Also I cant take her shopping she will cause havock in the shops and refuse to do anything she is told.

    It has been ruled out that about ADHD she is not hyperactive.

    I have 2 other daughters, a 12 year old who is an angel and never rude to me, and a baby of 7 months. This is notdue to jealousy because it started long before the baby arrived.

    Any ideas guys? does this sound like ODD? or anything else I can mention to the doctor to hopefully speed things up?
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Hi and welcome!

    I wanted to jump in and say hi, although I do not have the answers to all of your questions. There are many other wise moms here who will be along. We've all been through something similar! While nobody here can provide a diagnosis, I can say that what you described sounds like your daughter might have some sensory issues. It is good that you have an appointment, but the wait is a bummer. In the meantime, you might want to check out "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It is a very good read on dealing with difficult children.

    Post as often as you like, don't be shy. Again, welcome!
  3. maisies_mummy

    maisies_mummy New Member

    Thanks you, I have been reading that. It is very good, but I am finding it so hard to deal with now. I am trying to just focus on the violence and aggression but that in its self seems to be taking so much time and not getting anywhere or it's just not sinking in. I feel awful because I love her to bits but also dislike her for being so hateful and not letting me give the baby as much attention as she deserves too.
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Welcome!! The link above has some good reading when you are trying to figure out what to tell a doctor.

    Your difficult child sounds complicated for sure. Pretty extreme for a 5 year old.
    Has she had a full medical work up? Testing for allergies, diabetes, etc. Sometimes medical conditions can cause behavioral problems. Can't hurt to get all that done while you wait for the other evaluation.
    Oh yeah, be sure you get put on the cancellation list at the new docs office, that might help you get in quicker.
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Welcome to the crowd! You didn't say who is doing the assessment (Dr., psychiatrist, psycologist, neurologist, social worker, etc). Sometimes you can make appointments with a bunch if they seem like long waits (6 months is a long time to get the ball rolling just for 1 type of evaluation!)

    Is it a neuropsychologist evaluation? That's done by a neuropsychologist and they test a ton of things! You'll learn a lot from the group here - I still am!

    Good luck and welcome again!

  7. maisies_mummy

    maisies_mummy New Member

    hi Sorry, I am in England and she has been refered for anger management and to see a child psycologist. We have Health Visitors which have also been involved but say the behaviour is too complex for them.

    Medically she seems ok, she had some bowel problems as a toddler but they seem ok now. She did have one episode where her oxegen levels were low for most of the day but no wheezing so were unsure what happened but she had to have ventolin in the end. That was when she was 18 months so clasping at straws here but wondering if that affected anything. Probably way off lol but my husband is struggling to accept that the things she does is because of her problems and goes through spells of blaming.

    You are all so helpful, this site is a god send for me even if I just getto talk to others that know how difficult things can be.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I agree with a neuropsychologist, although I'm not sure how you'd manage that in England. She has many symptoms of high functioning autistic spectrum disorder (Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified or Aspergers) too. THAT is very hard to catch in a young child and you need an excellent professional, usually a neuropsychologist. My son has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified and he had extreme ODD behaviors until his Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) was diagnosed and he started interventions--then it really improved! The motor problems and wetting and "selective tuning out" are consistent with possible Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Often Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are mistaken for kids who are hard of hearing. I'm not so sure this is a behavioral problem or that the core issue is ODD. At any rate, I hope you can have her evaluated by a neuropsychologist. They do really intensive evaluations and look for literally everything. How is her speech? How does she relate to people? Does she make any strange sounds or strange movements? Is she sensitive to sounds, touch, smells? Does she tend to get lost while staring at things--or when she spreads the toothpaste does she seem fascinated by it? Lastly, my son used to growl. It scared us! He doesn't do a ny of that anymore :smile: I included an online Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) Assessment Test. Welcome to the board!
  9. ML

    ML Guest

    Welcome! You've found a great place here. Hugs, MicheleL
  10. maisies_mummy

    maisies_mummy New Member

    Today I have been on the phone pushing to speak to the physcologist and am waiting on a phone call.

    I did the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) evaluation test and it say's mild Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) so am not sure about that. She is not so much fasinated by the toothpaste smearing but if she spills her drink she will just watch it spill and not attempt to pick up the glass (happens quite often) thank you for the link, I am open to any ideas not had any dealings before with mental heath issues. I know it is uncommon for ODD to appear on its own so trying to figure what else maybe going on. We also have a bit of stealing going on atm.

    Another question guys What does difficult child stand for?
  11. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    difficult child stands for "Gift from God". At least that's how THEY see themselves.

    My two boys have Aspergers syndrome which is on the Autistic Spectrum. They have and did many of the things that you describe. Between the two of them we've seen all of the aspects (they are like night and day, but both have the same diagnosis!) of the syndrome.

    As far as the "board speak" go to Forum List and click on the Welcome/Board help. The second or third one shows you all of the acronyms and what they stand for. This is my first board that I've ever belonged to, and it was all "cyber speak" to me! :smile:

    Keep checking into a neuropsychologist. They're usually found in the bigger teaching hospitals or Children's Hospitals here in the states.

  12. maisies_mummy

    maisies_mummy New Member

    :laugh: Gift from god that is exactly how maisie thinks of herself!!

    Shouldn't laugh but she has told her teachers she is God before when asked how she knew if it would rain or not.

    I have to laugh though because I think I will crack up if I don't lol.
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is a neurological problem. Often regular psycologists/Psychiatrists miss it. NeuroPsychs know how to test for it. Unfortunately, Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are often overlooked as ADHD because high functioning autism has only been recognized for ten years--many professionals don't know what it looks like and will pass it off because "he makes eye contact" or "he's too friendly." We had this. However, even mild Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) requires life/social interventions or else they can't get better and get more frustrated. As do the parents! Often, they are VERY bright and learn to read fast and have big vocabularies, but can't even tie their shoes and have no idea how to hold a give-and-take conversation. Many can't grasp a pencil right (my son still can't write well at age fourteen-he has to print rather than write). Pottying is often late due to sensory issues. My son was trained by five. I hope you can find good help across the pond and can figure out what is really wrong.
    My son also scored mild-Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). He has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. Good luck.
  14. maisies_mummy

    maisies_mummy New Member

    Thank you everyone, you have all been so helpful. I am going to ask for her to be tested for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and also Aspergers. I am hoping they will test for everything. Here in the UK we seem to be so far behind with the medical side.

    Can I be brave (sometimes causes problems here) what is the opinion on the MMR jab? Maisie didn't have it butthat was because there were other medical problems going on at the time and I didn't want to rock the boat so to speak.
  15. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Some people think the MMR triggers autism or worsens autism that is already there. I don't believe that, but there are people who absolutely do. So it's up to you. My son had the MMR and never regressed.
  16. maisies_mummy

    maisies_mummy New Member

    Wooohoooo Maisie has an appointment on Friday!!! In shock!! must have paid off me ringing them about 5 times yesterday!

    A very happy relieved mummy here!!

    Only asked about the MMR because I am still undecided, I have a baby who will be expected to have it soon and just still unsure what to do. I have a friend who is sure her son got Autism after the jab he is doing ok, managed main stream school until seniors :smile:
  17. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Man that's really great news. What you want to do is have an organized list of her behaviors, milestones (walking talking, potty training, first sentences, lifting head, sitting, etc.) so that they can note any delays. Make sure that you can speak about every single behavioral issue that has come up and have examples: aggressive: she does this that and the other.

    Is the appointment. on Friday with the psychiatrist or the pediatrician? Make sure you check into the "toilet troubles" that she's been having!

    Very important: let us know how it went - we're here for you!!!

  18. mm420

    mm420 New Member

    hi there. i am very new here, but my son was diagnosed with ODD and ADHD, at the age of 4. He is now 7 and a monster. There are days I cry...I feel like Ive run out of options. You described my son in the store. Good luck, Id try getting a diagnoses.
  19. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi MM420! Welcome to the crowd! Don't cry (unless it makes you feel better!), there's a bunch of people who can try and help, send hugs, give advise, or just lend a shoulder!

    He's not a monster, he's just a difficult child!