Where do I begin...My 19yr old son, who is living with us is continually testing my love. He knows that I would do anything for him. He is the oldest of 3 boys, the others are 16 and 17 and seem to be so much easier to handle than my first born. Today I am trying to figure out what my next step should be.... Having read a few of your past posts, I can see that many of you have lived or are living the same kind of disrespect. The total lack of disrespect to my husband and myself is mind boggling for me. Perhaps it stems from loving and giving too much....ei spoiled child. But I can honestly say, that my children were not spoiled in a way that the could say or do whatever they wanted, I was fairly strick in their upbringing and was rewarded with kids they never ever got in trouble at school still to this day. That being said, for my eldest, we his parents, seem to be his problems. It started around his mid teens and basically not backing down when things were not going his way. It would escalate to full out screaming and at times even physical arguments. Now, he is out of high school, where in his senior year, he actually won an award as the most caring, friendly student for his work with the special need students. It is like he is one person with us, and acts completely different with others. Everyone thinks he is such a nice kid. It's almost a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde scenerio. After high school, he went on to college, even though he didnt know what he wanted to do later on and ended up switching to 3 different programs only to drop out eventually. I bought him a (cheap) car to attend college since there is no public transporation where we live. He is now (at least until today) working for his father in construction basically doing labour and learning new trades. I was a bit aprehensive when he started working for him as they are always gripping at each other and figured this would not work out but surprisingly when it came to work, he was actually cooperative and did as he was told....until today. At home, he outrights says no to every chores we ask of him, he leaves things laying around and never picks up after himself and when we argue about anything at all, he says we are his problem. He has gone as far as spitting at his dad and throwing his new computer that I bought him (for school) agains the wall and smashing it. He calls us names and tells us to f%# off, he doesnt drink but he does smoke pot regularly. The arguments never seems to end with him, he is angry and totally impossible to be around. He does as he please and pays no rent. As a matter of fact, he owes me about $6000 for the second car (after he blew the motor in the 1st one but needed a vehicule to get back and forth to work with), some online courses I paid for him, etc...etc...so I gave him a deal and said pay me half of it say $3000 at a rate of $75 a week and you will be debt free in a year. He actually said to me the other week that he prefers to save his money and would like to pay me later on at some point, when I explained that it doesnt work that way, he said whatever and has not paid me since....Is it the generation of thinking that everyone owes them or is this a case of a child that has his own feeling of entitlement? I just dont get it but it is breaking my heart!! Today, he outright told his father he would not do the work that was asked of him, his dad said, son if I were not your father and you were working anywhere else, this type of behaviour would get your fired and his response was "then fire me!". He then got in his car and sped away at dangerous speed (in the car that I paid for) and we have not heard from him since. I think I know that I must ask him to leave, but with no job, how will he fend for himself? I am such a mother hen, I know I wont be able to sleep if I dont know where he is. He makes such bad decision all the time, that I just dont know what would become of him.