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New here - daughter problems
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627534" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Does she do drugs? When you say she is entitled, what do you mean? T</p><p></p><p>The very first thing I can advise, however, is to set boundaries and refuse to plan your life around her whims. Just don't do it, even if she rages and says hateful things and acts like a two year old having a tantrum. Secondly, make her get a part time job. Don't give her any money. Provide only for her needs...nutritious food and enough appropriate (not necessarily stylish or cool clothes). And tell her she works, goes to school next year, or WILL find herself an apartment and you aren't the one who will pay for it. I wouldn't encourage her to drive. Who will pay her car expenses, get the picture? Tell her she will have to pay her own insurance (or her part of the insurance if she does get a license). You get the idea. At eighteen she is legally an adult.</p><p></p><p>by the way, ignore her silly blame game manipulation. Almost all of our difficult children do that. It is just verbal vomit to get us to feel guilty and continue to care for them as if they were still ten years old and should go in one ear and out the other. At her age, legally the problems will be on HER shoulders and I would flat out refuse to listen to verbal abuse. If you are in the same room and can't leave, just ignore it, like she isn't even speaking. This is easier to do if you think about WHY she is doing it...it isn't because it's the truth; it's because you stopped the Bank of Mother and are no longer letting her be a slacker. Whatever happened in the past, happened in the past. Lots of bad things happen to kids. But not all kids who think they had bad lives decide to make a mess of their lives. It is her fault and hers alone if she refuses to help herself.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for your hurting mommy heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627534, member: 1550"] Does she do drugs? When you say she is entitled, what do you mean? T The very first thing I can advise, however, is to set boundaries and refuse to plan your life around her whims. Just don't do it, even if she rages and says hateful things and acts like a two year old having a tantrum. Secondly, make her get a part time job. Don't give her any money. Provide only for her needs...nutritious food and enough appropriate (not necessarily stylish or cool clothes). And tell her she works, goes to school next year, or WILL find herself an apartment and you aren't the one who will pay for it. I wouldn't encourage her to drive. Who will pay her car expenses, get the picture? Tell her she will have to pay her own insurance (or her part of the insurance if she does get a license). You get the idea. At eighteen she is legally an adult. by the way, ignore her silly blame game manipulation. Almost all of our difficult children do that. It is just verbal vomit to get us to feel guilty and continue to care for them as if they were still ten years old and should go in one ear and out the other. At her age, legally the problems will be on HER shoulders and I would flat out refuse to listen to verbal abuse. If you are in the same room and can't leave, just ignore it, like she isn't even speaking. This is easier to do if you think about WHY she is doing it...it isn't because it's the truth; it's because you stopped the Bank of Mother and are no longer letting her be a slacker. Whatever happened in the past, happened in the past. Lots of bad things happen to kids. But not all kids who think they had bad lives decide to make a mess of their lives. It is her fault and hers alone if she refuses to help herself. Sorry for your hurting mommy heart. [/QUOTE]
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