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New here - daughter problems
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627686" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>in my opinion you never offer to do anything for her that she can do for herself. Or if s he can't, she has to learn. Go into your room, lock door, turn off cell phone. iF she tries to break in, screams, theatens...yes, call the police. In my opinion, her not getting her way is not a good reason to use verbal/physical violence. Both are in my world unacceptable. Tough luck. It's not the end of the world that she didn't go out. Does she have a job yet? Is she making plans for her future?</p><p></p><p>You are going to need to detach from her drama or YOU will never be better and it will NOT NOT NOT help your daughter if you angst over her nonstop OR if you enable her to stay a whiny child and give into her like some people give into a two year old's tantrums. You need to start having a good life even though your daughter is struggling or you will go down with her, and it's not necessary.</p><p></p><p>Seek out help. Read self-help books. Go on a mission to learn about how to deal with non-functional, abusive loved ones.</p><p></p><p>She may have to leave your house if she expects you to do the unreasonable and screams like a baby if she misses a night out with her friends.</p><p></p><p>It is in your best interests to detach from this drama and to let your daughter do things on her own, even if she messes up. At least she MAY grow up...but only if you let her. Our difficult children went to be perennial children who live with us and count on our constant money and it's up to us if we want to move on from that or have it still when we are 80 and they are 50.</p><p></p><p>I hope you choose to have a good life in spite of your daughter and to start taking steps to let her know the days of free lunches and your putting up with her disrespect and screaming are over. They are not good things for EITHER of you!</p><p></p><p>Hugs!!!! Wishing you a serene evening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627686, member: 1550"] in my opinion you never offer to do anything for her that she can do for herself. Or if s he can't, she has to learn. Go into your room, lock door, turn off cell phone. iF she tries to break in, screams, theatens...yes, call the police. In my opinion, her not getting her way is not a good reason to use verbal/physical violence. Both are in my world unacceptable. Tough luck. It's not the end of the world that she didn't go out. Does she have a job yet? Is she making plans for her future? You are going to need to detach from her drama or YOU will never be better and it will NOT NOT NOT help your daughter if you angst over her nonstop OR if you enable her to stay a whiny child and give into her like some people give into a two year old's tantrums. You need to start having a good life even though your daughter is struggling or you will go down with her, and it's not necessary. Seek out help. Read self-help books. Go on a mission to learn about how to deal with non-functional, abusive loved ones. She may have to leave your house if she expects you to do the unreasonable and screams like a baby if she misses a night out with her friends. It is in your best interests to detach from this drama and to let your daughter do things on her own, even if she messes up. At least she MAY grow up...but only if you let her. Our difficult children went to be perennial children who live with us and count on our constant money and it's up to us if we want to move on from that or have it still when we are 80 and they are 50. I hope you choose to have a good life in spite of your daughter and to start taking steps to let her know the days of free lunches and your putting up with her disrespect and screaming are over. They are not good things for EITHER of you! Hugs!!!! Wishing you a serene evening. [/QUOTE]
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