TiredSoul
Warrior Mom since 2007
I am new and not sure what to do... as I see many of you are from reading several posts.
I have a 5 year old son who I think may have ODD (which I just stumbled upon searching the internet for answers as to why he is the way he is/does the things he does).
He has pretty much been a difficult child from age 1. (He was a perfect baby - no feeding problems, slept great, etc.) When he turned one he started having night terrors and also became demanding and volatile. We thought it was due to the terrible twos. When he didn't outgrow it, we thought he is just strong willed. It has progressed through the years and it now feels like he rules our household. For along time I would just give in so as to avoid a battle. For years I have thought he is this way because of my inconsistent parenting and giving him his way - but after reading so much, I wonder if there could be more to it. He was not in daycare until age 2, but began having problems with hitting/pushing other children (with no remorse) then. This past school year he was in a private Lutheran pre-k class and had problems the entire time (almost got kicked out a couple times). He is very bossy, has to have things his way. When he plays with most other children he tells them how to stand, how to catch, how to dance, and what to do - he gets along fine as long as they do what he wants them to. He is very smart and has always been interested in things usually way beyond other children's interests for his age. He gets along with most girls. It is the other boys who are like him who he clashes with. There is one girl (a friends daughter who came to stay with us) that he would terrorize because he got a reaction (whine) from her every time. He loved upsetting her. We all went to a park and he pushed my friend's other daughter (22 mos old) down the slide because she was in his way. Then he tried to push someone else off a toy. Time outs, charts, and spankings do not work. I usually resort to screaming which just makes me (and him) feel terrible. He makes up stories about Dad trying to hurt him (if he has done something wrong and been disciplined) - saying things like "he just tried to kill me" or "he just tried to make me bleed". He blames us or others for everything that happens or goes wrong - even if we were nowhere near. We recently had another baby 4 mos ago. He has pinched and slapped him a few times for no reason. I have been a stay at home mom since just before the baby was born. I am terrified of him starting Kindergarten in the fall because I know it will be difficult and I will get phone calls daily.
I am wondering what to do. We have not been to any counseling or dr's about this. What is my first step? I just ordered The Explosive Child and the Difficult Child from Amazon. I have so many books and nothing has worked. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I have a 5 year old son who I think may have ODD (which I just stumbled upon searching the internet for answers as to why he is the way he is/does the things he does).
He has pretty much been a difficult child from age 1. (He was a perfect baby - no feeding problems, slept great, etc.) When he turned one he started having night terrors and also became demanding and volatile. We thought it was due to the terrible twos. When he didn't outgrow it, we thought he is just strong willed. It has progressed through the years and it now feels like he rules our household. For along time I would just give in so as to avoid a battle. For years I have thought he is this way because of my inconsistent parenting and giving him his way - but after reading so much, I wonder if there could be more to it. He was not in daycare until age 2, but began having problems with hitting/pushing other children (with no remorse) then. This past school year he was in a private Lutheran pre-k class and had problems the entire time (almost got kicked out a couple times). He is very bossy, has to have things his way. When he plays with most other children he tells them how to stand, how to catch, how to dance, and what to do - he gets along fine as long as they do what he wants them to. He is very smart and has always been interested in things usually way beyond other children's interests for his age. He gets along with most girls. It is the other boys who are like him who he clashes with. There is one girl (a friends daughter who came to stay with us) that he would terrorize because he got a reaction (whine) from her every time. He loved upsetting her. We all went to a park and he pushed my friend's other daughter (22 mos old) down the slide because she was in his way. Then he tried to push someone else off a toy. Time outs, charts, and spankings do not work. I usually resort to screaming which just makes me (and him) feel terrible. He makes up stories about Dad trying to hurt him (if he has done something wrong and been disciplined) - saying things like "he just tried to kill me" or "he just tried to make me bleed". He blames us or others for everything that happens or goes wrong - even if we were nowhere near. We recently had another baby 4 mos ago. He has pinched and slapped him a few times for no reason. I have been a stay at home mom since just before the baby was born. I am terrified of him starting Kindergarten in the fall because I know it will be difficult and I will get phone calls daily.
I am wondering what to do. We have not been to any counseling or dr's about this. What is my first step? I just ordered The Explosive Child and the Difficult Child from Amazon. I have so many books and nothing has worked. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.