I
illinoisgranny
Guest
I'm a newbie here so I'll give a little background before I ask my question.
My kids are all grown and on their own, but in November 2008, I got a call from the hospital to pick up my grandson Wildchild....he had bruising over both eyes and Child Protective Services took him from difficult child 3, daughter AR, and placed him with me as a relative foster placement.
I've had him 22 months now and he was in early intervention until he turned 3. He was only diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and developmental delays, some of which were caused by multiple ear infections. He couldn't hear out of his left ear when I got him and had a tube put in. Afterward his speech improved, but he still is behind.
He is now in our school system's early childhood program in a behaviorally disordered class. He also goes to Head Start in the afternoons.
CPS is working toward permanent placement with me, either through terminating parental rights and having me adopt him, or making me a subsidized guardian. difficult child 3 is with a boyfriend who won't quit using drugs and was told she must leave, get an apartment of her own and find a job if she wants any chance of having him returned. She also has a 2nd child who just turned 1 year old. He is in another foster home. I tried to take care of him but couldn't with the issues I face taking care of Wildchild.
When Wildchild first came to my home I was still married and my son still lived with us. Wildchild slept in our room in a toddler bed, but rarely made it through the night in his own bed because he had so many nightmares and he would just crawl into our bed.
When my son moved away, I turned his room into a bedroom for Wildchild. Shortly afterward my infant grandson was born and was placed with us, too. My DEX and I were still married, but the placement of my infant grandson with us did us in.
He couldn't handle all the stress we were dealing with. My difficult child 3 blames us for all her problems and accused us of stealing her children, was constantly badmouthing us and making life miserable. In February DEX decided he had to make a change and we divorced. He has his own place now. We are still friends and he visits often.
My question is about the continued nightmares Wildchild experiences. He has a nightmare almost EVERY night. Sometimes he wakes up 2 or 3 times a night. I used to let him crawl in bed with me to sleep for the rest of the night, but my caseworker found out and said he must sleep in his own room.
I'm bleary-eyed and nearly at my wits' end trying to figure out what to do about his nightmares.
He used to have a therapist referred by our caseworker but she was USELESS. I have found another agency here who will work with him, but the first appointment isn't until the end of September.
Nightmares aren't his only problem. He has significant sensory processing disorders and is always bouncing off the walls, literally. Sometimes he hits me in a rage when I try to correct his behaviors. I've used 1-2-3 magic which works sometimes, but is less and less effective.
I know that he's been through a lot, but I'm so tired. I don't know how much longer I can continue to care for him unless we can both get a good night's sleep. I think a lot of his other issues may be related to sleep deprivation.
Any comments and suggestions/ideas would be very welcome!
My kids are all grown and on their own, but in November 2008, I got a call from the hospital to pick up my grandson Wildchild....he had bruising over both eyes and Child Protective Services took him from difficult child 3, daughter AR, and placed him with me as a relative foster placement.
I've had him 22 months now and he was in early intervention until he turned 3. He was only diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and developmental delays, some of which were caused by multiple ear infections. He couldn't hear out of his left ear when I got him and had a tube put in. Afterward his speech improved, but he still is behind.
He is now in our school system's early childhood program in a behaviorally disordered class. He also goes to Head Start in the afternoons.
CPS is working toward permanent placement with me, either through terminating parental rights and having me adopt him, or making me a subsidized guardian. difficult child 3 is with a boyfriend who won't quit using drugs and was told she must leave, get an apartment of her own and find a job if she wants any chance of having him returned. She also has a 2nd child who just turned 1 year old. He is in another foster home. I tried to take care of him but couldn't with the issues I face taking care of Wildchild.
When Wildchild first came to my home I was still married and my son still lived with us. Wildchild slept in our room in a toddler bed, but rarely made it through the night in his own bed because he had so many nightmares and he would just crawl into our bed.
When my son moved away, I turned his room into a bedroom for Wildchild. Shortly afterward my infant grandson was born and was placed with us, too. My DEX and I were still married, but the placement of my infant grandson with us did us in.
He couldn't handle all the stress we were dealing with. My difficult child 3 blames us for all her problems and accused us of stealing her children, was constantly badmouthing us and making life miserable. In February DEX decided he had to make a change and we divorced. He has his own place now. We are still friends and he visits often.
My question is about the continued nightmares Wildchild experiences. He has a nightmare almost EVERY night. Sometimes he wakes up 2 or 3 times a night. I used to let him crawl in bed with me to sleep for the rest of the night, but my caseworker found out and said he must sleep in his own room.
I'm bleary-eyed and nearly at my wits' end trying to figure out what to do about his nightmares.
He used to have a therapist referred by our caseworker but she was USELESS. I have found another agency here who will work with him, but the first appointment isn't until the end of September.
Nightmares aren't his only problem. He has significant sensory processing disorders and is always bouncing off the walls, literally. Sometimes he hits me in a rage when I try to correct his behaviors. I've used 1-2-3 magic which works sometimes, but is less and less effective.
I know that he's been through a lot, but I'm so tired. I don't know how much longer I can continue to care for him unless we can both get a good night's sleep. I think a lot of his other issues may be related to sleep deprivation.
Any comments and suggestions/ideas would be very welcome!
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