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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 60286" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>About telling a child about being different - we were advised, when difficult child 1 was diagnosed ADHD at 6, to tell him. Because difficult child 1 knew something was wrong, teachers would yell at him and he was always in trouble, he couldn't stay on task like his classmates, he was beginning to believe that he was just made to be naughty, nothing he could do would ever be right. When we told him he had ADHD, he was relieved - "So I'm not just naughty, then?" he asked us.</p><p></p><p>And, of course, we know now it was much more. But with the autism/Asperger's, we tell the boys that they ARE different, their brains are programmed to learn in a different way and it's their job to help us find how to use that different way to help them learn.</p><p></p><p>It's not their fault, it's nobody's fault, but we have to find ways to manage it. Life isn't fair sometimes, so we have to get on and live it, whatever goes on.</p><p></p><p>We've also told them that there are advantages to their disabilities. The ability to concentrate for much longer on something they are deeply interested in; the ability to problem solve at a large level; the ability to shut out distractions in order to concentrate (something they need to learn, it's part of adapting to ADHD). These are abilities which give them an advantage.</p><p>Other bonuses - they are loyal, honest, law-abiding, sensitive, caring and very, very smart. They need to learn patience and tolerance but it comes with time and practice.</p><p></p><p>But they have always known they are different. This way they know they're not automatically bad, as they had been believing.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 60286, member: 1991"] About telling a child about being different - we were advised, when difficult child 1 was diagnosed ADHD at 6, to tell him. Because difficult child 1 knew something was wrong, teachers would yell at him and he was always in trouble, he couldn't stay on task like his classmates, he was beginning to believe that he was just made to be naughty, nothing he could do would ever be right. When we told him he had ADHD, he was relieved - "So I'm not just naughty, then?" he asked us. And, of course, we know now it was much more. But with the autism/Asperger's, we tell the boys that they ARE different, their brains are programmed to learn in a different way and it's their job to help us find how to use that different way to help them learn. It's not their fault, it's nobody's fault, but we have to find ways to manage it. Life isn't fair sometimes, so we have to get on and live it, whatever goes on. We've also told them that there are advantages to their disabilities. The ability to concentrate for much longer on something they are deeply interested in; the ability to problem solve at a large level; the ability to shut out distractions in order to concentrate (something they need to learn, it's part of adapting to ADHD). These are abilities which give them an advantage. Other bonuses - they are loyal, honest, law-abiding, sensitive, caring and very, very smart. They need to learn patience and tolerance but it comes with time and practice. But they have always known they are different. This way they know they're not automatically bad, as they had been believing. Marg [/QUOTE]
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