New here.. I see I am not alone

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Domesticated.feminist, Oct 4, 2010.

  1. I googled hitting teachers and got this.

    Where to begin? My 5 year old has sensory intergration problems, he was a great therapuetic preschool program that really worked wonders for him. He was put in a general ed class for K and despit having a BIP and an IEP that wasn't being followed he was suspended (yes I know I have a lawsuit for many reasons at this point, there are details I am leaving out for now that even more so shows I could sue). He was suspended for kicking his teacher and then he realized being bad at school he could get sensory input he seeks and get sent home with mom. So everyday he went to school his behavior got worse and he started saying he was bad and that's why he has a 1 on 1 aide. His 1 on 1 is because he is a flight risk and has trouble staying on task, he has had one since he was 3 on his IEP. I should also mention he hasn't had Occupational Therapist (OT) since he left his preschool in August. I am getting him Occupational Therapist (OT) out of school starting next week, I should have done it a long time ago but that's how good his preschool was. I almost thought he was normal for a while. Uhh I hate the word normal but I can't think of another one to use.

    Now he is in a private program payed for by the district and they are trained to restrain and use crisis intervention. I am still unsure how I feel about it but they don't use restrain as punishment but as a way of making sure everyone stays safe. My aunt works with adults in a residental setting and does something similar with her residents.

    He receives social and behavioral councling through this agency as well. His first day was today and he was restrained already for kicking, punching and spitting.

    He doesn't really act aggressive at home or when we are out socializing unless other boys are wrestling, then he joins and will take it too far, it's like he can't turn it off or something. He is defiently a fight or flight kid. I can see he needs Occupational Therapist (OT) really bad, he's more anxious lately but more jumpy at the same time.

    I am also considering some outside of school therapy, the program suggests if you can afford it or have the insurance to go for it. I just am afraid of them slapping too many labels on him at a young age.

    Will it be ok? I am so scared at this point.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Hello & welcome. :)

    I understand your fear well: my daughter's (non-therapeutic) pre-school teacher told me that she would mostly grow up to be a social pariah since she was so naughty & mean-spirited. I can assure you that it doesn't appear to be the case 5 years later. by the way, most of us you the word "typical" rather than normal.

    Has your child been without Occupational Therapist (OT) for about a month? I agree that you should seek out whatever benefits and resources you can afford to help your son. Also... has your son been back in school for about a month but had a change of placement to this new private program? If so... what have they proposed to help him transition? Does he have any other diagnosis than sensory integration issues? Learning disabilities or underlying medical problems? Did he have an IEP and FBA/BIP at the gen ed placement and were they transferred to the new placement?
  3. He was in a gen ed setting for about two and a half weeks but he was suspended a few of the days and was out of school for about two weeks. He does have an IEP and a FBA/BIP and no other diagnosis than sensory.
  4. And his transition services are the same as the gen ed setting, a one on one aide.
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hello and Welcome!

    Yes, if you can afford it - take advantage of as many programs and services as you can. You can make so much more progress with these kids if you start early (as opposed to waiting until they are older).

    Also, (JMO here), take the labels! If your son has a "label" it usually means he can get assistance. Whereas, if there is no label or diagnosis - he is just "a bad kid", which is a much worse and much more frustrating "label" to have!
  6. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Welcome to the crowd! Yours sounds like mine...try a neuropsychologist for testing. There's a lot going on here that sounds a little more complex than just Sensory Integration Disorder (SID).

    Keep posting - it's rather relaxing once you realize you're not alone!

  7. I took him to a neurologist before but not a neuropysc, maybe I will try that if the therapists doesn't work. He has an appointment now with a therapists coming up, they want to speak to me first and then I take him in.

    Today was another rough day, he spent most of his time in crisis intervention and apparently enjoyed his time in there. He likes to be contrary, so i am really not surprised he enjoyed the punishment. Also I think he likes the physical contact he gets from being restrained. When he got home from school I made him do chores and then he refused, he was sent to his room and then trashed it. He did pick it up and ended up helping with chores after his fit though.

    He's like proud of being bad, it's weird. I don't know what to do.
  8. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Does he use a weighted vest or blanket?
  9. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Have you read The Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitch?
  10. Yes he has done the weighted vest at his preschool, we recently have one for home and there is one in his IEP but the school doesn't have one and when they tried the weighted blanket they had today he didn't like it. the vest came in the mail today and he cried when we put it on him saying he looks weird. All the sudden he is extremly self consious of being different, yet still shy but social at the same time. He likes to be brushed still though and likes joint compression. Brushing is one thing he always responds too, actually all my kids like to be brushed.

    It sucks because he was doing so good at his preschool I thought he was typical because they helped so much. Although soccer was a bit trying as were a few other activities we tried.

    And I read out of sync child has fun, raising a sensory smart kid, Parenting a child with sensory processing disorder and I started a book about kids with adhd. He gets a lot of sensory input at home but he needs it at school too. Today I talked to an aide about him and she seems willing to try anything. So we will see how this goes. His Occupational Therapist (OT) at school will start soon.

    Certain things I would like to point out.. He likes shock value of things and to get reactions from people. Sometimes when I want him to do things I have gotten into the habbit of telling him to not do it, particulary lately when I am trying to get him sensory input at home. He does for the most part get along very well with his sisters, there are fights but he just tells on them rather than gives into them, sometimes he gets wacky and careless though. He's like a two year old in many ways, i feel so awful saying that, but for example he has to be directed step by step when doing a task although at the same time he is very smart and many tasks when done over and over again he needs less reminders. He is capable of following directions.

    It seems like this school gets "it" but I could be wrong.

    I feel ashamed of myself because I get embarrassed of my child at times and then sometimes I get nasty. What is wrong with me!

    Sorry long winded response. It's been a long few weeks and I just feel like they aren't going to end anytime soon. Maybe tonight my motrin pm will work and atleast I can sleep.

    by the way love the to kill a mocking bird quotes!
  11. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I can't say I've been embarrassed by my Duckie so much I have been extremely frustrated with my inability to control her behavior. That didn't stop for me until I stopped caring what other people thought and worked on what my child needed. I have a feeling that there is probably more going on with your son than only sensory disintegration, but I'm not a doctor. There are several disorders that tend to be co-morbid with DSI including mood disorders, autistic spectrum disorders, anxiety, learning disabilities and ADHD/ADD. Often, DSI presents as the first red flag to other disorders. Is there any history of mental illness, substance abuse or neurological issues? Many of these conditions have a strong genetic component. Does he have any underlying medical conditions?
  12. I definently think he has adhd and there is a family history of mental disorders. My sister was diagnosed with depression in her teens. My mother, who I do love and does a lot to help me definently has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), same with a few others in my family. I think my husband has a mood disorder, he is all over the map with his emotions and has anger issues. I am myself definently have undiagnosed adhd and have been considering going to see a neurologist.
    My DS also was born with a birth defect, bilateral clubbed foot and had surgery for it at less than a year old. He had to wear a brace and bar at night. He had a speech delay at age 3 and that is when he started the preschool but he doesn't need speech anymore.
  13. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Well... the family history (assuming everyone meets the criteria for formal diagnoses) alone puts him at risk for a mood disorders, adhd & Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The speech issue (even if resolved) places him at risk for autism, especially when co-morbid with DSI. And the surgery puts him at risk for attachment issues. I would definitely put in a call to Womens & Children or the University at Buffalo to see about getting him a multidisciplinary evaluation or at least evaluated by a developmental pediatrician. Check out Strong in Rochester as well. He sounds like a potentially very complex kiddo and getting as clear a diagnostic picture as possible will help you get the services he needs.
  14. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    If the family history is complicated, I think it's a good time to seek out a more thorough evaluation--there's a lot that could be potentially going on here and most of us around here are far more afraid about missing a potentially helpful treatment than we are of labels. Personally I'd be going for a very extensive evaluation and collect as much info as possible.

    Just reading the description of your situation, I will say I've never heard of a school going to a private placement for a child who only had a diagnosis of sensory processing disorder (SPD), and never for one so young after only a few weeks in school. Most schools only are willing to pay for a private setting as a last resort because they're very expensive, and will try various options to see how the child responds. Do you know other families with children who have special needs in the district to get an idea of what the district's reputation is with special needs children?

  15. Our district really screwed up in my boy's case so when I requested a program they agreed with no hesitation. I also had an advocate working with me though. The district we are in is pretty large and under funded so CSE is understaffed for all the children they have. Apparently we weren't the only ones with this problem. The smaller class settings are all filled too, so that worked in my favor as well.

    And I am taking into consideration what everyone is saying, a label really isn't something to fear. A friend who had a cousin with issues said the same thing, her aunt and uncle fought labels and it didn't do any justice for her cousin.
  16. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey! You've gotten some really good advice here. And don't feel awful about being embarrassed - it's just human emotion kicking in to a desperate situation. As long as he doesn't know he's embarassing you, you'll be fine! Keep an eye on the speech - even though he may be speaking clearly, there are learning disabilities that have "pragmatic speech" issues. You don't ordinarily catch them until they get older but naturally (since they're hard to diagnosis) the sooner intervention (speech therapy for the pragmatics) the better!

    Talk to you soon!

  17. Thank you so much everyone for the advice. I realize with my little guy, i have to take it hour by hour rather than day by day. There is so much good about him though.