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New here- is there ever an uphill??
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 627591" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome Sosad, we're glad you're here.</p><p></p><p>You've received excellent advice. </p><p></p><p>I want to add one more thing and that is about grief. Your son had 3 major losses back to back, if he did not grieve those, deeply, that lack of grief will wreck havoc. He is the only one who can seek out treatment or permit himself to feel it, you can't do it for him.........however I would like to offer you this:</p><p></p><p>My daughter lost her husband to suicide, then she lost her kids, her home, her job, all of it. She did not grieve, she was angry. I believe, among other complications, that the lack of grieving kept her stuck in a vicious cycle which got worse and worse and worse. Had I known that early on, I MAY have been able to make a difference, but maybe not. To help you understand it, I just finished reading an excellent book on grief which is <u>Entering the Healing Ground, grief, ritual and the soul of the world </u>by Francis Weller. He is a psychotherapist in No. Ca. where I live. Reading the book may offer you insight into a place your son may be living. </p><p></p><p>We live in a culture which does not honor grieving. I would imagine it would be difficult for a young man to embrace the fact that grieving will be healing and free him, if that is indeed the case. </p><p></p><p>I've watched the devastation what not allowing grief can do and if it feels right to you, open that door with your son. Sometimes simply a presence to allow someone to be safe enough let go of deep sorrow is what it takes.</p><p></p><p>On the other hand, none of this may be what is going on with your son. I have no idea. I just thought I'd offer it up as a suggestion.</p><p></p><p>It helps to keep posting. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here, it's very informative and useful.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you're here. There are many very supportive and wise people here to offer a helping hand, empathy, understanding and kindness. Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 627591, member: 13542"] Welcome Sosad, we're glad you're here. You've received excellent advice. I want to add one more thing and that is about grief. Your son had 3 major losses back to back, if he did not grieve those, deeply, that lack of grief will wreck havoc. He is the only one who can seek out treatment or permit himself to feel it, you can't do it for him.........however I would like to offer you this: My daughter lost her husband to suicide, then she lost her kids, her home, her job, all of it. She did not grieve, she was angry. I believe, among other complications, that the lack of grieving kept her stuck in a vicious cycle which got worse and worse and worse. Had I known that early on, I MAY have been able to make a difference, but maybe not. To help you understand it, I just finished reading an excellent book on grief which is [U]Entering the Healing Ground, grief, ritual and the soul of the world [/U]by Francis Weller. He is a psychotherapist in No. Ca. where I live. Reading the book may offer you insight into a place your son may be living. We live in a culture which does not honor grieving. I would imagine it would be difficult for a young man to embrace the fact that grieving will be healing and free him, if that is indeed the case. I've watched the devastation what not allowing grief can do and if it feels right to you, open that door with your son. Sometimes simply a presence to allow someone to be safe enough let go of deep sorrow is what it takes. On the other hand, none of this may be what is going on with your son. I have no idea. I just thought I'd offer it up as a suggestion. It helps to keep posting. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here, it's very informative and useful. I'm glad you're here. There are many very supportive and wise people here to offer a helping hand, empathy, understanding and kindness. Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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