New here, need help


New Member
Hello everyone. I've spent a few days reading on this site and decided it would be worth it to me to look for some support. My story, however is a different one. Maybe I should be in another forum and hopefully someone can tell me where that would be, if indeed there is one. I don't have a problem child of my own, but I most definitely have a problem adult person in my life, my youngest brother. And we are not young, either of us, I am 60 and he is 55. At the moment, he's been out of work for almost a year, his job dried up and he's been looking for some kind of work and hasn't been able to find anything. I guess nobody wants to hire a 55 yr old laid off longshoreman. I've been in contact with him regularly and the longer this goes on, the more depressed he is. And that has always affected me too. I come from a large nuclear family where everyone but him has done quite well for themselves. I myself, have been extraordinarily blessed to have a wonderful caring husband, step kids and grands. My brother never married, never seemed to want much from life. At this point, I see homelessness on the horizon for him. I see now how over his entire life how I've made things too easy for him, all the while hoping he'd get his act together and want to make a better life for himself. He's had to live with us a few times, but thankfully, always was able to get something together to support himself. I am living in dread right now, knowing he's got about 2 more months before he's got no roof over his head, again. I've searched low income housing, shelters, and the waiting lists are in some cases, years. How do I live, knowing I have a brother, who is living on the streets at this point in his life? I know if I tell him he can come here, it won't end this time. I am just desperate at this point. I feel so badly for him, it's just so sad. Any advice would be welcome. Are there any forums addressing enabling of family members, I know this is a parenting forum, but my worries and anxieties are exactly the same. Thank you for just reading and listening.


Active Member
I don't like the word enabling , even for kids. At the moment , I believe he is doing the best he can and needs help and support so he can help himself. All people should be giving charity and your family , comes first . So can you get the help of your other siblings - each family member commit a certain amount of money , if a roof over his head problem becomes a reality , maybe he could spend a limited time at each sibling. Your help must be part of an overall plan to help him see a social worker etc . If he has an attractive personality he could always move in with a girlfriend . I hope this helps