New here, need some support

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by sadtiredconfused, Jan 27, 2010.

  1. sadtiredconfused

    sadtiredconfused New Member

    Hi, I am a 31 y/o Mom of 3 children. My oldest, my 9 y/o son, is in 4th grade and he has Oppositional Defiant and possibly a mood disorder. Since 1st grade he has been a chronic behavior problem in school and also VERY challenging at home. This week he was suspended from school for 1 day and last week we had the cops at our house for the 3rd time in 6 months plus he got in a fight in gym last week and flipped his teacher off. We have tried medicine, we have tried grounding, we've tried spanking and it just none of it works on him! Right now he is in Emotional Support class for 1 hour out of 6 hours of his school day but this morning I had to go to a meeting with the school to re-open his IEP and re-admit him into the school district(because of the suspension) and it was agreed that he will now spend 4 out of 6 hours in Emotional Support classes. He hates the teacher in that class but he is so disruptive in regular classes that there is no other choice right now. I am so frustrated and tired and just don't know what to do to keep sane so that I can take care of all my kids, not just put out the fires(some days literally!) that my oldest causes all the time. My husband is really fed up and just wants to ship him off to boot camp but I don't want to do that because I feel like that would be giving up. How do you all stay sane and calm during the storm? I need to take better care of myself so that I can be more effective at parenting but I just am so worn down and exhausted I can't even think logically at this point. Can anyone relate or help me?
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome to the site!
    I do not have a lot of time, but wanted to say that boot camp or sending your difficult child to a residential treatment facility does not sound like a bad idea. Sounds like he needs something bigger than the average family can provide in a home environment.

    Will write later!
  3. maril

    maril New Member

    Welcome, stc. It sounds like you have your hands full. Look to the right of this page in the margin where it says Parent Resources. I see books that may be helpful (regarding explosive children). I had found a variety of parenting books at my local library, including The Explosive Child. That book shed some light.

    Assuming you have not already read any of these, it is worth a look.

    Good luck and hang in there.
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2010