I am so relieved that I found this site tonight. I am feeling at the end of my rope with my 4 year old foster child. I have been reading many of the posts, and am glad to see that I am not alone in my struggles, but lately I feel so alone. I am a professional, and have worked with many special needs kids. When I decided to take on foster children (as a single, working mother) I didn't intend to take special needs children, knowing that I may not be able to provide the amount of support they need. My new foster children came to me before I was aware of the older girls' issues. I don't want to give up on them, I really love both of them, but I am finding it harder and harder to "like" A. She has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), and for a 4 year old, she really knows how to control her world. Tonight just before I got on here I tried to go to a christmas party with the kids, hoping to be able to relax and enjoy the night a bit. Of course, she would not listen to the teenage girls who had been put in charge of the children, and, long story short, we had to leave early in a mad tantrum, fitful rage because she had been being mean to the other kids. At other times, she can be so sweet and charming. I just don't know what to do with her when she is like this. I see the liink about the book everyone is recommending, and will take a look at it soon. I have also been reading many many other books on dealing with kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), and she has made progress. It's just hard feeling so alone, and I didn't expect to feel this "grief" reaction that I have noticed since learning that she has Reactive Attachment Disorder. I know it isn't necessarily a death sentence, but it does mean many challenging times ahead. And, ultimately I don't know the end of the story here. I guess for now, I just need to vent, and to think about how to provide her the love and support she needs to grow up to be a successful person. Thanks for listening!