I am soo glad to find this site..I will try to give a quick description of my difficult child/step son. He has been living with us for 2 years but had regular contact with him all his life.he has always had behavior disorders,diagnosed with adhd at age 6..put on ritalin,but did nothing for the hyperactivity..a list of some of the problems over the last 17 yrs Age 4-9 adhd..did no work in school,hit other children and was kept seperated from peers at school,well behaved and pleasant in front of adults, Disruptive when not in sight,Lying,very sneaky would break other peoples things when no one was watching,hoard treats,find 20 cookies in the cushions of the sofa but he never did it?? Encopresis.(soiled pants)daily. Age 9-15 Still unable to get along with peers,very aggressive to other children,lying,destroying others personal property,diagnosed with learning disablilty put in ipp classes but still refused to do any work in school..Showing some aggression towards authority,charged at age 12 for threatening a younger child with a knife,got probation,stole money and cc from both grandparents..Does not learn from mistakes,punishment,grounding,taking away privledges,does nothing he will repeat the same actions.. Age 15-now Moved in with his dad and I..poor student,skipping classes refused to do work was put out of school in 9th grade for 1 month so i could get him to do his lessons at home.. Grade 10,fighting,skipping school,refused to do work in class,lying,gets angry when you confront him,punched walls,ripped door off hinges, spray painted graffiti and was taken home by police..no charges,caught smoking and distributing marijuana at school.kicked out of school in April. 08. This year..grade 10 again,ipp program,doing better but only with supervision,wears same clothes for days and refuses to change them,needs to be told to shower,does not use soap,deod,brush teeth gets upset when tell him to do these things. I have stopped fighting with him about these things,nothing seems to work with this child,I cannot get anything from him except lies..The last 2 months he has missed his curfue quite a few times always has an excuse for it..does not check in when asked to call,Steals cigarettes,spends,blows allowance in 1 day then bums cig all week..refuses to apply for a part time job to support his smoking habit. 2 weeks ago he came home on a friday night 1 hr late and had been drinking..His father grounded him..no staying overnight at friends house and curfue has been changed to 8 on school nights and 10 on weekends as punishment.. So because he always has to push the limits he has not been going to school,instead hanging out at a friends house all day..by the way he is not going to pass grade 10 and will be 18 in oct.. I am tired of hiding money,cigarettes,cannot leave him home alone,or with younger sister,I just want to prepare him for the real world so he has a chance and doesnt fall flat on his face. He came home yesterday supposedly from school and I told him he could not stay because he is not following the rules,skipping school,etc. He now is staying at a friends house for now. I feel terrible about this,i have not been able to stop thinking about him..i do not want him out of the house i just want him to know im serious about following house rules,his 13yr old sister is trying to push limits with me now and is po that he gets away with more than her..Did I do the right thing? I just want him to spend some time withought everything being done for him so he will realize how hard the real world can be and will be willing to try to get an education,instead of running the roads..Sorry about the rambling but my anxiety is like a 10 right now..please give me your opinion??