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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 640822" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi KMB,</p><p>Welcome, I'm glad you found this site but sorry you had to.</p><p>Your difficult child sounds a lot like mine. I to deal with him stealing from us on a regular basis and the lies!! Let me put it this way if my difficult child's lips are moving, he's lying.</p><p>I agree with MWM about the DNA. My ex was irresponsible, arrogant, couldn't hold a job for more than a few months and when my son was 2 I couldn't take it any more and we split up. I was the one who would call my ex and schedule visits, I would not only have to take my son to him but would have to pick him up. This lasted about 6 months, I said no more, if he wants to see his son he needs to put forth the effort. Never heard from him again and never received any kind of child support. Flash forward, I met an amazing man, my husband who adopted my difficult child. In the years I was a single mom and after I remarried, my difficult child has always had a stable home with love and nurturing. While my difficult child had a great stepdad and had no contact with the bio-dad from the time he 3, he turned out just like the bio-dad. He has not been able to hold a job for more than a few months, and he abandoned his 2 children. Of course he blames me for everything that went wrong in his life.</p><p>I can tell you this. The sooner you get him out of your home and start to detach the better off you will be. Don't confuse detaching with not loving. I love my difficult child and I will continue to pray for him but as long as he continues to make the choices he makes and live a very dysfunctional life, I cannot have him be a part of mine. My difficult child will 34 in January so I have been dealing with this for about 20 years. I finally had enough about 5 years ago. I wish I could have found this site or one like it many years ago and perhaps I could have saved myself from years of pain, fear and anguish. There is so much great advice on these pages.</p><p></p><p></p><p>MWM gave some very good advice here!!!</p><p></p><p>You have done all you can for your difficult child, it's time to let him go and for you to take your life back.</p><p></p><p>Sending you hugs!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 640822, member: 18516"] Hi KMB, Welcome, I'm glad you found this site but sorry you had to. Your difficult child sounds a lot like mine. I to deal with him stealing from us on a regular basis and the lies!! Let me put it this way if my difficult child's lips are moving, he's lying. I agree with MWM about the DNA. My ex was irresponsible, arrogant, couldn't hold a job for more than a few months and when my son was 2 I couldn't take it any more and we split up. I was the one who would call my ex and schedule visits, I would not only have to take my son to him but would have to pick him up. This lasted about 6 months, I said no more, if he wants to see his son he needs to put forth the effort. Never heard from him again and never received any kind of child support. Flash forward, I met an amazing man, my husband who adopted my difficult child. In the years I was a single mom and after I remarried, my difficult child has always had a stable home with love and nurturing. While my difficult child had a great stepdad and had no contact with the bio-dad from the time he 3, he turned out just like the bio-dad. He has not been able to hold a job for more than a few months, and he abandoned his 2 children. Of course he blames me for everything that went wrong in his life. I can tell you this. The sooner you get him out of your home and start to detach the better off you will be. Don't confuse detaching with not loving. I love my difficult child and I will continue to pray for him but as long as he continues to make the choices he makes and live a very dysfunctional life, I cannot have him be a part of mine. My difficult child will 34 in January so I have been dealing with this for about 20 years. I finally had enough about 5 years ago. I wish I could have found this site or one like it many years ago and perhaps I could have saved myself from years of pain, fear and anguish. There is so much great advice on these pages. MWM gave some very good advice here!!! You have done all you can for your difficult child, it's time to let him go and for you to take your life back. Sending you hugs!! [/QUOTE]
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