My name is Heather. I'm 30, newly married and the mother of a daughter who will be 12 this month. It seems like from the very beginning, my daugher has been so very hard to control. If there was a harder way to do whatever it was that needed done, she would find the hardest way to do it. Everything is a fight. She's failing every class in school. I can't get her to do a single chore without a fight. Her self esteem is non exsistent...she's 160lbs and sneaks food at night and eats twice as much as me at meals. She's a bully to some other children...while being afraid of others and taking bullying from them. I just feel like for 12 years this has been an aweful experience. My new husband wants so desperately to have a baby of our own, but I am so afraid of going through this hell again. I obviously am no good at being a parent or the child I have wouldn't be so screwed up. I'm just at a loss. How do you fix lazy? How do you grow self esteem? How do you make a 6th grader bring home and do her school work? How do you make them try on a test instead of sitting there drawing pictures in all the margins? How do I make her care at all about anything?? .....and how do I get through a day without crying?