Thank you for all the wonderful replies. Let me try and answer some of your questions...
Is her bio. father in the picture? If not, he still is...she has 50% of his genes and, if he was troubled, she may have inherited something. no not at all. i had her at 18 and her bio dad was 21, smoked pot constantly, refused to work, sold drugs and is still exactly that way to this day 12 years later.
/Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of her family genetic tree, including her biological father's family and your family and anyone related to either of you genetically. Are there issues of substance abuse on either side? Substance abuse can be a red flag that the abuser has some disorder...a mood disorder or Aspergers or other things. i do not know about psyc problems on her bio dads side of the family. i never met anything but immediate relatives and they all seemed fine. he has always been a very regular pot smoker and still is. i smoked pot a lot as a teenager but never addicted and there is no drug use now. my family my have depression running thru it as most of us at some point can claim being on zoloft or something similar including myself.
2/How were your daughter's early milestones? Did she walk and talk on time?madison was walking at 10 months. i remember at one year old making a list of about 25 words that she spoke clearly and used in proper context. i thought she was very intelligent, but there was also what seemed to be spite in some of the things she did. i remember her at 2 years old getting angry at me for something, walking over to my desk and picking up my glasses, looked me dead in my eye and snapped them in half..dropped them...and then walked off. i thought i was crazy but it seemed so....evil. Did she make (and does she still make) good eye contact with her peers and with you? Will she willingly look people in the eyes?she'll make great eye contact if she's talking about something she wants to talk about. if you're talking to her about something like discipline or school work, no she will not look at me. Did she ever have a speech delay or a problem having a give-and-take conversation.no On the flip side, did she read early, have an early interest in letters and numbers, have a GREAT rote memory, and/or sound like a "little profressor when she spoke?" Does she now?she didn't and doesn't have an interest in learning, but she seems to know so much. she got tested for the gifted program in math and got the highest score in her class, but yet she's failing math. her science teacher told me she had no clue madison had heard anything in his class because she never did any work...but come time for semester final, she gets a B. it's like she absorbs things by osmosis. Does she understand how to socialize with her same age peers?she does, but it doesn't seem like her bonds are close. it's a lot of playing and silliness, but not real bonded friendships at all. Does she monologue at them? Does she have any specific interest that is unusual to be so focused on?she drawn constantly. that is her only interest...drawing that japanese manga...and she is amazingly good at it. Does she ever seem as if she is in her own world and, then, at other times (mostly when she is comfortable) seem like she is just fine, puzzling you? she is always in what i call "madison-land". for as long as i can remember she'd bump into people while shopping because she was off in space...i can ask her to do something and by the time she gets up to do it, she's forgotten what i said. when she's in a good mood and wanting to do something though, she's right on top of things.
How does your hub deal with your daughter? Does he understand her? Does she have a good relationship with him? Does he have any kids?
he does not understand her at all. he thinks i just need to "put my foot in her ass" is his words...he thinks i'm too lenient on her but he doesn't understand how tiring it is to fight with her to do anything all the time. they have a good relationship when she is being good, but she smart mouths him, argues with him, calls him retarded, slams doors when he tells her to do something. he has a son that is 10, but he lives a couple hours away so we do not see him very often.
some of the other things you guys touched on.....schools have been frustrated with madison from day one. she has had an IEP but it seems like all the teachers were full of initiative for the 3 months after that meeting, but it's tapered off now. she's scraped by every grade thus far by the skin of her nose. she's failed both quarters thus far and is failing this current one now in 6th grade. if she looks at her work, doesn't understand it immediately, she will shut down..refuse to do it..and begin drawing.
she has acted out sexually since as young as 3...i remember going in her room and catching her naked and rubbing a stuffed animal between her legs. she told me that it felt good. i caught her several times after that doing something similar. i've caught her probably 4 times in the last 2 years looking at porn on the internet. "gay boys" or "people doing it" were typed in search engines.
she is just now starting to see a child psychiatrist i believe is the mans title. he comes to our pediatricians office once a week and he's from a group of doctors who have a place called "Positive Outcomes"...they help a variety of trouble kids...a lot of court ordered stuff i think too.
I hope I've covered everything. I'm going to ask the Dr. about an evaluation that you all mentioned below. I think I remember him mentioning something like that, but it was going to cost me like $500 so I couldn't do it right away.
