Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
New Here....So sad again.....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 760905" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Coco,</p><p>Alcoholism is a "family disease". We are all sick from it. So even though your husband wasn't an alcoholic, he is still "sick" so to speak from living with an alcoholic father. Trust me, I can't say "all" of the reason my sons are the way they are is due to growing up with the insanity of alcoholism but it certainly contributed to their anxiety, depression and own instability.</p><p></p><p>Because I go to Al anon and have for several years, I know they are sick but until they can get the help they need for themselves, there's nothing I can do. Once you get the help "You" need it's funny how you can then identify the brokenness in your loved ones who have been affected by the disease, much easier.</p><p></p><p>With regards to being an enabler...well I'm the Queen of that and have been working on that for a long time. Just remember, our enabling started with caretaking (as mothers seem to do) and somehow along the way it's gets distorted. I've read a book recently that talked about how people enable, fix and rescue similar to the alcoholic who takes a hit of alcohol. In that, it's issues with our own lack of "self worth" that likely subconsciously, we fix, rescue and enable for our own hit of "I'm a good person" feeling. We somehow feel that the only way others will like us is if we do something good or rescue the situation. Somewhere along the way of life due to broken relationships and such we don't feel worthy of being loved just for who we are.</p><p></p><p>I had so much verbal abuse from my ex-husband during the course of 30 years of marriage, that I now have a life-time of re-building my worthiness. It still feels selfish to me to care for myself, that's how bad I've gotten, but I keep trying since those people who seem to know the way out of this, have said that's they key to my changing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 760905, member: 23405"] Coco, Alcoholism is a "family disease". We are all sick from it. So even though your husband wasn't an alcoholic, he is still "sick" so to speak from living with an alcoholic father. Trust me, I can't say "all" of the reason my sons are the way they are is due to growing up with the insanity of alcoholism but it certainly contributed to their anxiety, depression and own instability. Because I go to Al anon and have for several years, I know they are sick but until they can get the help they need for themselves, there's nothing I can do. Once you get the help "You" need it's funny how you can then identify the brokenness in your loved ones who have been affected by the disease, much easier. With regards to being an enabler...well I'm the Queen of that and have been working on that for a long time. Just remember, our enabling started with caretaking (as mothers seem to do) and somehow along the way it's gets distorted. I've read a book recently that talked about how people enable, fix and rescue similar to the alcoholic who takes a hit of alcohol. In that, it's issues with our own lack of "self worth" that likely subconsciously, we fix, rescue and enable for our own hit of "I'm a good person" feeling. We somehow feel that the only way others will like us is if we do something good or rescue the situation. Somewhere along the way of life due to broken relationships and such we don't feel worthy of being loved just for who we are. I had so much verbal abuse from my ex-husband during the course of 30 years of marriage, that I now have a life-time of re-building my worthiness. It still feels selfish to me to care for myself, that's how bad I've gotten, but I keep trying since those people who seem to know the way out of this, have said that's they key to my changing. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
New Here....So sad again.....
Top