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General Parenting
New here...struggling as a step mom
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649086" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I have a spectrum son who is 21 and he doesn't sound spectrumish to me either. I spent many years in a parent group where their kids came with and autistic kids are usually very gentle and naive. A few may have youngish tantrums, but they aren't malicious. I doubt Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or ADD are causing this behavior. It's way too extreme.</p><p></p><p>The gun fantasies would scare me. Does your boyfriend have guns in the house? I hope not. If so, he had better lock them up and never show this kid the key. God help me, I hope he isn't teaching this kid to shoot or hunt...he is not safe with weapons.</p><p></p><p>He sounds more like he may be heading for a personality disorder, like mom. Be careful. I hope he has never been sexual around your girls. I don't know how old they are, but this is one thing some kids do not share even if they are close to their mothers. I know first hand. That's my biggest concern although shoving your girls around is pretty horrible too. This kid isn't 13. He's almost a man. And he's shoving your daughter's around.</p><p></p><p>Trust me, it is easier to get out of a relationship, in spite of how hard you tried to create a family, than to pick up unpleasant pieces of that family and relationship that you did not know about. There are huge red flags flying around this young man. If he's on drugs, that only makes it worse. If he's not, that's almost scarier. Ask yourself, why did Mom toss him off on Dad? What did he do to have her want him to live elsewhere? The mom usually wants the kids with her...I'm glad you are seeing a therapist for you. The fact is, you aren't married yet and you can still get out if you decide that is best for you and your girls.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649086, member: 1550"] I have a spectrum son who is 21 and he doesn't sound spectrumish to me either. I spent many years in a parent group where their kids came with and autistic kids are usually very gentle and naive. A few may have youngish tantrums, but they aren't malicious. I doubt Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or ADD are causing this behavior. It's way too extreme. The gun fantasies would scare me. Does your boyfriend have guns in the house? I hope not. If so, he had better lock them up and never show this kid the key. God help me, I hope he isn't teaching this kid to shoot or hunt...he is not safe with weapons. He sounds more like he may be heading for a personality disorder, like mom. Be careful. I hope he has never been sexual around your girls. I don't know how old they are, but this is one thing some kids do not share even if they are close to their mothers. I know first hand. That's my biggest concern although shoving your girls around is pretty horrible too. This kid isn't 13. He's almost a man. And he's shoving your daughter's around. Trust me, it is easier to get out of a relationship, in spite of how hard you tried to create a family, than to pick up unpleasant pieces of that family and relationship that you did not know about. There are huge red flags flying around this young man. If he's on drugs, that only makes it worse. If he's not, that's almost scarier. Ask yourself, why did Mom toss him off on Dad? What did he do to have her want him to live elsewhere? The mom usually wants the kids with her...I'm glad you are seeing a therapist for you. The fact is, you aren't married yet and you can still get out if you decide that is best for you and your girls. [/QUOTE]
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