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Parent Emeritus
New here. Thank goodness I've found a place where people understand.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 633408" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, you are not alone. That's why I brought it up. People do tend to do what we can to avoid nasty confrontations, especially when our own children. And often, if they weren't our children, we wouldn't even talk to them. </p><p></p><p>My son scared the wits out of my daughter. </p><p>He scared ME.</p><p>I am glad he has moved two states away and doesn't like to drive far distances. He is stuck there because his son is there, and, he DOES love his son and he is divorced.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if you want my two cents or not, but I'd move. You get more peace when they are far away. He doesn't need to live with you again. He is a man. My son is my only child who could never move in with me again...he is too scary. We do ok long distance. I don't give him any money. If I want to get my grandson something, I buy it and mail the item. He gets money (tons of it) from my ex, but I can't control my ex and don't waste time trying to or even thinking about it much, except when my son deliberately annoys me by telling me, "Dad sent me $1500 to help bribe this girl to get out of my house." Yes. The same girl he begged to move in. Ex has lots of money to burn, I guess. As long as my son doesn't ask me for money, it's not my business. I wouldn't send any. He makes a good living and has more toys than I ever did. He will lie to my ex, tell me about it, and laugh...as in "what a fool."</p><p></p><p>Live the rest of you life and let your son live his. If he ends up homeless, it is his own fault. He can work and live very modestly. I remember somebody who had trouble getting a good job after a lay off so he worked at a burger place and rented a room from an elderly woman. He was allowed to use the kitchen too. </p><p></p><p>My other adult kids don't like their brother because of how he abuses me. Same story as your daughter. They see it. They know.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 633408, member: 1550"] Hon, you are not alone. That's why I brought it up. People do tend to do what we can to avoid nasty confrontations, especially when our own children. And often, if they weren't our children, we wouldn't even talk to them. My son scared the wits out of my daughter. He scared ME. I am glad he has moved two states away and doesn't like to drive far distances. He is stuck there because his son is there, and, he DOES love his son and he is divorced. I don't know if you want my two cents or not, but I'd move. You get more peace when they are far away. He doesn't need to live with you again. He is a man. My son is my only child who could never move in with me again...he is too scary. We do ok long distance. I don't give him any money. If I want to get my grandson something, I buy it and mail the item. He gets money (tons of it) from my ex, but I can't control my ex and don't waste time trying to or even thinking about it much, except when my son deliberately annoys me by telling me, "Dad sent me $1500 to help bribe this girl to get out of my house." Yes. The same girl he begged to move in. Ex has lots of money to burn, I guess. As long as my son doesn't ask me for money, it's not my business. I wouldn't send any. He makes a good living and has more toys than I ever did. He will lie to my ex, tell me about it, and laugh...as in "what a fool." Live the rest of you life and let your son live his. If he ends up homeless, it is his own fault. He can work and live very modestly. I remember somebody who had trouble getting a good job after a lay off so he worked at a burger place and rented a room from an elderly woman. He was allowed to use the kitchen too. My other adult kids don't like their brother because of how he abuses me. Same story as your daughter. They see it. They know. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. [/QUOTE]
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