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Parent Emeritus
New here. Thank goodness I've found a place where people understand.
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 633506" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>Hi Sweetmama. I'm new here and I don't have all the answers. But I have experienced many of the things you mention and I feel your heart and struggles in your words. Don't be hard on yourself -- this stuff is BRUTALLY HARD.</p><p></p><p>You say your difficult child is 21? Makes suicide threats? Steals? You told him you'd "cut him off" from benefits, etc?</p><p></p><p>My difficult child is 24, so I'm only slightly farther down the road than you. He has done many of the same things yours has. We did cut him off. Has it always been pretty since then? No. But it wasn't pretty before then, either. By age 19 our son was "escorted" out of living with us by police/probation officer. We have held to that since. We pay for nothing other than medical bills as he's still on our insurance -- that will change next year. He always found a way to turn cash or items of any kind into drugs (mostly hard drugs).</p><p></p><p>Yes, you can say "No." Yes, it's legit. Yes, they're adults.</p><p></p><p>Like you, I do worry about suicide (2 attempts here, but even when police pick him up they return him to the streets because he won't go voluntarily and they say he "seems fine". Of course. Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) is slick. Our laws aren't very helpful here, either.</p><p></p><p>Has your difficult child ever agreed to any treatment?</p><p></p><p>Smart thinking about the screen shot of suicide attempts. Ultimately, their lives are still theirs. You sound like a very caring person and mom. Those are good things! But..........well, manipulators know who to prey upon. They prey on those who care -- parent or not. And, though my son is family, we have been victims of his "prey". FYI -- We now have a home alarm system. I sleep much better at night and if we're out of town.</p><p></p><p>Yes, we love them. And, yes they need help. But, the thing is..........we get to live, too. Really.</p><p></p><p>Forgive me if I speak out of turn in here anywhere. You just sound like a very heartfelt person and I wanted to express my support, camaraderie, and certainty that you can just say, "No"! Sometimes, it's just time.</p><p></p><p>Take care....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 633506, member: 18284"] Hi Sweetmama. I'm new here and I don't have all the answers. But I have experienced many of the things you mention and I feel your heart and struggles in your words. Don't be hard on yourself -- this stuff is BRUTALLY HARD. You say your difficult child is 21? Makes suicide threats? Steals? You told him you'd "cut him off" from benefits, etc? My difficult child is 24, so I'm only slightly farther down the road than you. He has done many of the same things yours has. We did cut him off. Has it always been pretty since then? No. But it wasn't pretty before then, either. By age 19 our son was "escorted" out of living with us by police/probation officer. We have held to that since. We pay for nothing other than medical bills as he's still on our insurance -- that will change next year. He always found a way to turn cash or items of any kind into drugs (mostly hard drugs). Yes, you can say "No." Yes, it's legit. Yes, they're adults. Like you, I do worry about suicide (2 attempts here, but even when police pick him up they return him to the streets because he won't go voluntarily and they say he "seems fine". Of course. Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) is slick. Our laws aren't very helpful here, either. Has your difficult child ever agreed to any treatment? Smart thinking about the screen shot of suicide attempts. Ultimately, their lives are still theirs. You sound like a very caring person and mom. Those are good things! But..........well, manipulators know who to prey upon. They prey on those who care -- parent or not. And, though my son is family, we have been victims of his "prey". FYI -- We now have a home alarm system. I sleep much better at night and if we're out of town. Yes, we love them. And, yes they need help. But, the thing is..........we get to live, too. Really. Forgive me if I speak out of turn in here anywhere. You just sound like a very heartfelt person and I wanted to express my support, camaraderie, and certainty that you can just say, "No"! Sometimes, it's just time. Take care.... [/QUOTE]
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