My son is 9 years old. He has ADHD and ODD. He fits the ODD diagnostic checklist to a T. Currently, he is on Intuniv to help his ADHD (We did stimulants for 2 years, but found they made him more aggressive, he had a manic-like rebound in the mornings and evenings and I hated seeing him so thin). The ADHD is pretty well controlled with the Intuniv. He is sleeping well and eating great. But the ODD symptoms persist. It's very intense and is very hard on us all (we also have a 6 yo with ADHD (not ODD thank God!) and an 18 month old). I feel like our HMO ADHD doctor is just throwing medications at him and I don't have any confidence in this Dr. at all. We need help. He needs help to learn and practice frustration toleration skills, to not be so negative, and to not argue every tiny little thing. My husband and I need to learn to be able to deal with his negativity, defiance and controlling personality without screaming and being confrontational ourselves. I see that we're in a bad cycle and can't seem to change my emotional responses. I feel it so deeply and can't help but take it personally, since he is much, much better in school. Since I only have an HMO, whatever I do outside of that will obviously have to be paid for with cash. We have an appointment at UCLA in June to have a 3 day long intense assessment, to the tune of $3000....but I don't know if that's where we should put our money. I mean, I am quite certain that this ADHD/ODD diagnosis is correct. I would be really annoyed to spend $3000 and have them tell us something we already know. But it is possible that he does have bipolar (husband's Sister has it) and I would feel confidant in what they diagnosis. They would probably also be able to help us with follow-up and with where to go from there. on the other hand, We could also put our money into a behaviorist to come from the local Autism Center for Treatment. Though he is not autistic, I feel like he does have a lot of the same struggles that some kids on the spectrum have. He/She could hopefully help him (and our whole family). Or is there something else we should do that I am missing? Don't say private therapy, because I have paid WAY WAY WAY too much money of so many different therapists (like 6 in 5 years!) and none of them helped one bit. He doesn't need talk therapy, he needs more than that. Any advice is SO welcomed. Thanks so much for your time.