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<blockquote data-quote="wethreepeeps" data-source="post: 16281" data-attributes="member: 3436"><p>[ QUOTE ]</p><p>Hello and welcome.</p><p></p><p>You have a major challenge with a child in this range of cognitive delay. He is bright enough to know he is not as bright as other people. Children with severe MR do no suffer this internal comparison because they don't compare themselves to others in the way your son can.</p><p></p><p>[/ QUOTE ]</p><p></p><p>Yes, unfortunately he is keenly aware of his limitations. It doesn't help that my older child, 17 months his senior, is in the gifted program at school.</p><p></p><p>[quote}I wonder if reducing his level of frustration through positive interaction might help--think 3 to 4 year olds and what a child of this age might like to do. I am NOT suggesting his mental age is that of a 3 or 4 year old--but rather that you need play activities that are well BELOW his mental age so that he will feel positive and successful when he tries to interact with the environment.</p><p></p><p>[/ QUOTE ]</p><p></p><p>I see what you're saying, and I agree with your conclusion. At church or in waiting rooms, etc, he prefers to play with toddler toys. But he does go to school, and spends a lot of time around kids his own age, and he's very aware of what they like to do and he wants to do those things as well, so he holds himself back from preferred activities because he wants to fit it.</p><p></p><p>[ QUOTE ]</p><p>How does he respond to verbal praise? Tangible rewards? Restrictions such as time-out, if you use them? When children with global delays get stuck in a negative "rut," it can be difficult to find things that turn out positively for the child and the parent.</p><p></p><p>[/ QUOTE ]</p><p></p><p>He doesn't respond to verbal praise or rewards. He just starts demanding access to the rewards without the accompnying behavior and becomes enraged when he doesn't get it. Time out makes him furious, and he kickes the walls and bangs his head on the wall, refuses to comply, soils himself while in time out and screams threats and obscenities. </p><p></p><p>[ QUOTE ]</p><p>If you asked him what he would do if he had three wishes, do you know what he would say? Sometimes finding out what a child really wants cannot be granted, but it may give insight into what appeals to the child. If a child's first wish is to go to Disney World, is it to meet Mickey Mouse, ride on fantasy rides, or stay in a hotel with a swimming pool or something else entirely...</p><p></p><p>Until you figure out what he would like to do, you cannot use the Premack Principle to reinforce him (Grandma's Law: do what I want and then we'll do what you want.) One way to discover what a child likes to do is watch him when he is unsupervised. However, in your current situation, that is not going to work. So, perhaps you could just ask him...</p><p></p><p>Maybe people who have younger children will have specific suggestions but I thought I would add a thought or two to my welcome.</p><p></p><p>[/ QUOTE ]</p><p></p><p>Attempts at behavior modification or rewards, even big ones, only work to a certain extent. He definitely has a point where he is totally out of control of the behaviors, and the only thing that stops them is eventually passing out from exhaustion. </p><p></p><p>[ QUOTE ]</p><p>Also, is your son in school? If so, does he have an IEP? If you want inofrmation on school issues, feel free to stop by the Special Education section of the board--sometimes problems at home are a reflection of problems at school and not the other way around as schools usually assume.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to our world.</p><p></p><p>Martie </p><p></p><p>[/ QUOTE ]</p><p></p><p>He does have an IEP. He's in a remedial first grade class with ten students, a teacher, and two aides. This is his second year of the first grade. Bub is very paranoid and has a ton of anxiety as school that other kids are making fun of him or talking about him. If a kid accidentally bumps him in line, to bub the kid wants to kill him and tried to shove him and he'll act out whenever he's around the child from then on. He was also on medical leave and homebound for three months after his last stint in the hospital, and his anxiety level was down but he refused to participate in homebound or any type of homeschooling. He says he doesn't care if he learns to read or write. I get called about twice a week to come pick him up from school for violent behavior. He was in an ED classroom the first part of the year, where he was bullied, and it took me getting an attorney to get him in the placement he's in now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="wethreepeeps, post: 16281, member: 3436"] [ QUOTE ] Hello and welcome. You have a major challenge with a child in this range of cognitive delay. He is bright enough to know he is not as bright as other people. Children with severe MR do no suffer this internal comparison because they don't compare themselves to others in the way your son can. [/ QUOTE ] Yes, unfortunately he is keenly aware of his limitations. It doesn't help that my older child, 17 months his senior, is in the gifted program at school. [quote}I wonder if reducing his level of frustration through positive interaction might help--think 3 to 4 year olds and what a child of this age might like to do. I am NOT suggesting his mental age is that of a 3 or 4 year old--but rather that you need play activities that are well BELOW his mental age so that he will feel positive and successful when he tries to interact with the environment. [/ QUOTE ] I see what you're saying, and I agree with your conclusion. At church or in waiting rooms, etc, he prefers to play with toddler toys. But he does go to school, and spends a lot of time around kids his own age, and he's very aware of what they like to do and he wants to do those things as well, so he holds himself back from preferred activities because he wants to fit it. [ QUOTE ] How does he respond to verbal praise? Tangible rewards? Restrictions such as time-out, if you use them? When children with global delays get stuck in a negative "rut," it can be difficult to find things that turn out positively for the child and the parent. [/ QUOTE ] He doesn't respond to verbal praise or rewards. He just starts demanding access to the rewards without the accompnying behavior and becomes enraged when he doesn't get it. Time out makes him furious, and he kickes the walls and bangs his head on the wall, refuses to comply, soils himself while in time out and screams threats and obscenities. [ QUOTE ] If you asked him what he would do if he had three wishes, do you know what he would say? Sometimes finding out what a child really wants cannot be granted, but it may give insight into what appeals to the child. If a child's first wish is to go to Disney World, is it to meet Mickey Mouse, ride on fantasy rides, or stay in a hotel with a swimming pool or something else entirely... Until you figure out what he would like to do, you cannot use the Premack Principle to reinforce him (Grandma's Law: do what I want and then we'll do what you want.) One way to discover what a child likes to do is watch him when he is unsupervised. However, in your current situation, that is not going to work. So, perhaps you could just ask him... Maybe people who have younger children will have specific suggestions but I thought I would add a thought or two to my welcome. [/ QUOTE ] Attempts at behavior modification or rewards, even big ones, only work to a certain extent. He definitely has a point where he is totally out of control of the behaviors, and the only thing that stops them is eventually passing out from exhaustion. [ QUOTE ] Also, is your son in school? If so, does he have an IEP? If you want inofrmation on school issues, feel free to stop by the Special Education section of the board--sometimes problems at home are a reflection of problems at school and not the other way around as schools usually assume. Welcome to our world. Martie [/ QUOTE ] He does have an IEP. He's in a remedial first grade class with ten students, a teacher, and two aides. This is his second year of the first grade. Bub is very paranoid and has a ton of anxiety as school that other kids are making fun of him or talking about him. If a kid accidentally bumps him in line, to bub the kid wants to kill him and tried to shove him and he'll act out whenever he's around the child from then on. He was also on medical leave and homebound for three months after his last stint in the hospital, and his anxiety level was down but he refused to participate in homebound or any type of homeschooling. He says he doesn't care if he learns to read or write. I get called about twice a week to come pick him up from school for violent behavior. He was in an ED classroom the first part of the year, where he was bullied, and it took me getting an attorney to get him in the placement he's in now. [/QUOTE]
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