homesteadma
New Member
Thank you, for letting me join here, as I feel desperate for help! We have adopted my husband's great niece. She is 4 1/2 now, and has been living with us since she was 8 months old. She was severely abused by 4 months, & removed from bio parents. We were told by dcs that she wouldn't remember the abuse, or need counseling for it because she was so young. Now I really wonder?
She was neglected, locked in a dark room alone for hours, left in same dirty diaper for 2 days, had fractured arm, thigh, hand, 3 fractured ribs, and had dark bruising all over her bottom. This all occurred by 4 months of age, she was then placed in a foster home. Foster mom said she never slept all night while she had her, and cried a lot.
At 8 months old, she came to live with us. She couldn't roll over, or sit up. By 9 1/2 months she was walking!
She is very bright, catches on quickly, and gets bored quickly. She has NEVER slept all night, on a reliable basis. She wakes in the middle of the night, says she has bad dreams, we pet her, she'll eventually go back to sleep. Sometimes though, it takes hours. I don't know what is wrong, but I know her behavior is not normal. I've raised 6 children, and never had issues like this before. Its not only the sleep, but other behavior as well. She hasn't taken a nap since just before her 2nd birthday, she tells us she doesn't like to go sleep because of the bad dreams. If we don't keep her occupied doing something constructive every second of the day, then she becomes very destructive. Her preschool teachers told me just last week that she has the energy of 5 of the kids there, combined. (I totally agree with that assessment) She seems unable to let herself calm down enough, to go to sleep. We are giving her melatonin or she'd never go to sleep before midnight. Her pediatrician has been of no help at all, other than to shove a list at me that has mostly psychiatrists who treat drug dependence in adults?? I feel she needs to be evaluated, I'm not even sure for what? She concentrates well, when she's occupied with something. But she's "all over the place" getting into everything ALL the time, otherwise. Her 2 yr old brother listens to us and is better behaved than she is. He has been with us since 2 days and didn't suffer the abuse she did. She goes "into the zone" when she gets tired, especially afternoon until 8pm, and nearly drives the entire family crazy with her behavior. I also have 14 & 15 yr old bio children. Even though there are 4 children in our house, SHE gets/demands 90% of the attention. My other children are really resenting her. We can't go anywhere and take her with us, because of her behavior. She screams at the top of her lungs anytime she doesn't get what she wants, which is a lot, since I try not to give into that kind of behavior. My husband just wants some peace & quiet back in our home. I don't think she just has discipline issues, it's more than that. I can discipline her 15 times, consistently in the same day, for the same thing. She'll go for it the 16th time, if I don't keep her occupied with something else. She is also very sweet and loving and compassionate. But when evening comes, and I tell her to leave so and so alone, don't throw all the clothes out of your dresser drawers, (one of her fave tricks) she acts like nobody is home, refuses to make eye contact with me, forges ahead into whatever I'm telling her NOT to do, etc. HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
She was neglected, locked in a dark room alone for hours, left in same dirty diaper for 2 days, had fractured arm, thigh, hand, 3 fractured ribs, and had dark bruising all over her bottom. This all occurred by 4 months of age, she was then placed in a foster home. Foster mom said she never slept all night while she had her, and cried a lot.
At 8 months old, she came to live with us. She couldn't roll over, or sit up. By 9 1/2 months she was walking!
She is very bright, catches on quickly, and gets bored quickly. She has NEVER slept all night, on a reliable basis. She wakes in the middle of the night, says she has bad dreams, we pet her, she'll eventually go back to sleep. Sometimes though, it takes hours. I don't know what is wrong, but I know her behavior is not normal. I've raised 6 children, and never had issues like this before. Its not only the sleep, but other behavior as well. She hasn't taken a nap since just before her 2nd birthday, she tells us she doesn't like to go sleep because of the bad dreams. If we don't keep her occupied doing something constructive every second of the day, then she becomes very destructive. Her preschool teachers told me just last week that she has the energy of 5 of the kids there, combined. (I totally agree with that assessment) She seems unable to let herself calm down enough, to go to sleep. We are giving her melatonin or she'd never go to sleep before midnight. Her pediatrician has been of no help at all, other than to shove a list at me that has mostly psychiatrists who treat drug dependence in adults?? I feel she needs to be evaluated, I'm not even sure for what? She concentrates well, when she's occupied with something. But she's "all over the place" getting into everything ALL the time, otherwise. Her 2 yr old brother listens to us and is better behaved than she is. He has been with us since 2 days and didn't suffer the abuse she did. She goes "into the zone" when she gets tired, especially afternoon until 8pm, and nearly drives the entire family crazy with her behavior. I also have 14 & 15 yr old bio children. Even though there are 4 children in our house, SHE gets/demands 90% of the attention. My other children are really resenting her. We can't go anywhere and take her with us, because of her behavior. She screams at the top of her lungs anytime she doesn't get what she wants, which is a lot, since I try not to give into that kind of behavior. My husband just wants some peace & quiet back in our home. I don't think she just has discipline issues, it's more than that. I can discipline her 15 times, consistently in the same day, for the same thing. She'll go for it the 16th time, if I don't keep her occupied with something else. She is also very sweet and loving and compassionate. But when evening comes, and I tell her to leave so and so alone, don't throw all the clothes out of your dresser drawers, (one of her fave tricks) she acts like nobody is home, refuses to make eye contact with me, forges ahead into whatever I'm telling her NOT to do, etc. HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!!!